In Which I Finally Do Something I've Wanted To Do For A Long Time...

Okay, so we've been living in our house for 24 years now. It seems like just yesterday. Weird. I can't believe how quickly the times goes.


Anywho, ever since we've been residing in our lovely little hamlet there has always been the quintessential ice cream truck, blaring a monotonous, mind-numbing tune manned by a crazy-Carney guy. Every summer I promise myself I'm going to get my big ass off the couch and treat myself to some of that traveling frozen yumminess. And every fall for the last 24 years, I have watched the leaves change and drop without having had the pleasure of a creamy treasure. Sure one Scooter Crunch costs almost as much as an entire box from the grocery store, but come one! It's the ice cream truck! It kinda tastes better. 


Biting into the cold crunchy coating feels like Summer as a kid when you had nothing to worry about except making sure you were home before the street lights came on after a long day of lazing in the sun with friends you thought you'd never be able to live without. 


Well today after I pulled in from girls' weekend at Lake Erie and Geo and I unloaded the car, the unmistakable tune of the ice cream man wafted through the warm, summer air. 


Guess what. I did it. I got me a frozen treat from the big metal truck! 

Strawberry Cooter Crunch happiness

And you know what else? The "Carney" man ain't so crazy after all. He's pretty darn nice. I'm like, his age now which is bizarre, but I ended up having a rather lovely lengthy conversation with him. Apparently this is what we old farts do now. Yak with strangers...a lot.


Now if only he could outfit that puppy with a Cocktail Slushie machine... 

Friday Video
or come take a ride with me

Okay, so y'all know by now I live in Pittsburgh. Most people still think of my town as a smoky, backward hovel not worth an hour layover let alone a multi-day visit. They could not be more wrong.


The thing I love about our not-so-little Hamlet is it has a big-city mentality with first-rate hospitals, universities and cultural amenities contained in a very manageable, small-city confine. There are tons of fun things to do here. Lots of river-related fun, family-fare, music and bars galore. Plus, not to be partial or anything, but Pittsburghers are some of the most, if not the most friendly folks in the US of A. No lie. Within minutes you'll be like family.


AND it has the most amazing entrance via the Fort Pitt Tunnel.


It's a huge "WOW!!" factor, which I get to enjoy each and every day. Driving through that tunnel is like a magic trick. 


Nothing up my sleeve. Presto!! 


That vista is like finding the prize in a box of Cracker Jack. 47 years later, the sight still makes me smile. I'll never tire of it.


Oh and I hope you all took note... the song playing was not Rhett or Old 97's, but Frightened Rabbits. It is part of a mix CD I'm making for my Internet bud, Tami from San Fran. One of these days I'll get to meet her... and Leslie... and Jess face to face. Won't that be fun?


In the mean time, don't worry. Once I'm through critiquing my work, my boys will be back in player. I know. You were worried I had a fever, right?

Flowers For Claudette
or why is it so hard to be humane

Okay, so every city has a homeless population. It's a sad truth of the human condition. There are many heartbreaking reasons why someone ends up living on the streets... mental illness, drug or alcohol abuse, unexpected financial misfortune.


There but for the Grace of God...


Anyway, sadly many times those of us who are lucky enough to be healthy and financially sound stop seeing those unfortunate few, desperately living minute to minute. It's so easy to ignore them. To turn away from the ugliness that makes us uncomfortable.


I was clearing out the veritable ton of photos on my phone, when I stumbled on this...

It's a memorial to one of our more colorful homeless people, Claudette. Claudette was a 6 foot 4 inch black man who chose to live his life as a woman. He was never mean, always respectful, pleasantly greeting passersby from his make shift cardboard apartment which he stocked with books, flowers and other niceties he could find cast off throughout the city. Summer or winter, Claudette would be where he always was...alongside the CVS, living his life the best he could. Gracefully.


I walked past Claudette several times a month. At times I'd make eye contact and smile at him, but like everyone else, most times I didn't even see him and his large frame in my haste to get on with my business at hand.


Claudette passed away last year. I don't remember if it was by a violent hand or natural causes. His part of the street alongside the CVS is empty now.


For someone who didn't see him most of the time, I find myself looking for him now...

My Awesome Adventures In The Steel Shitty..er, I Mean City
(a guest blog from a Southern visitor)

Okay, so today I give up my blog space to a new friend who visited with me for a couple of days last week. Take it away GG!

Hi, y'all! My name is Ghetto Gumby, but my friends call me GG. My Mom, the beautifully boozy and uber talented Shauna Glenn, whipped me up one night on a bender and decided to send me on a three month vacation to visit all her Internet gal pals. To be honest I think she's a little pissed at me because I drank the last of the Pinot and didn't tell her.

Sid & his luscious lips

Anywho, I spent last weekend in the lovely little Northern town of Pittsburgh with my new friend, Murray. The only thing I knew about this place is they're crazy about their football team and have a gorgeous, super talented young man named Sid leading their first-rate hockey team. Or so says Murray. Between you and me, she's a bit of a hockey freak. She gets all gushy about him and his luscious lips. It's kinda scary.

Anywho, she took me to work with her at the Special K. It was pretty cool. I got to help her switch the local news cut-in, help the weather girl, Ashley choose what maps to use and I got to hang out on the set with the news anchor, Brenda. That Brenda's a ton of fun. She fed me brownies and let me chill with her between shows.

I got to switch maps during weather!! But tell me the truth, does this fader bar make my butt look big?

Picking maps with Ashley

I got to cue the so-called "talent", but really...I'm the talented one!

Hanging on the set with my new best gal pal, Brenda. They called us Ebony and ...Paisley?

Can you tell I really, REALLY liked Brenda? Her decolletage is so warm and cozy. Wait...what? That sounds effed up, Dude! 

Then we all went out to a local diner to get breakfast and dine al fresco in the newly renovated piazza. Boy, these TV types sure do like to eat! That's pretty much all they talk about. That and drinking. They'd get along really well with Momma Glenn. Ha Ha!

sucking down some morning bubbly

After a quick run up to Mt. Washington to check out the spectacular view of the Golden Triangle, we went home to get all dolled up for my first concert ever! The uber fabulous Rhett Miller and Old 97's!!!

What a view!

KDKA-You are here 

I had no idea what to expect, but after one song I was hooked!! They are exhilarating to watch perform. Everyone was singing and dancing. What a great time! We were so close I got splattered by what Murray refers to as "Rhett Sweat". I understand now why she loves these guys. They are so sweet. Rhett and Murry said hi to us as soon as they took the stage. Here I am enjoying the music ... and the view, if you know what I mean.

"In front row at the Mr. Small's Show!!" Is there a better view? I think not!

Best of all, Rhett came out afterwards to say Howdy! I got a little snuggle. *swoon* And then he signed my heart. Hope Mom likes my new tattoo.

Grabbing a snuggle with the Lovely Blue-Eyed one

Baby's first tattoo. Way cooler than the bacon band-aid

How about those blue eyes, huh? WoooEeee! Be still my non-beating heart. So now, thanks to Murray, I'm an FOB...friend of the band.

ROCK 'N ROLL, BABY!!

Thanks for the great time, Murray!! You rule!! Now pass me my Jameson, Bee-yatch. ROCK 'N ROLL, BABY!!

The Smashing of Pumpkins, Gnashing of Teeth and Bleeding of Ears 
or Uncle Fester takes his kids to work day

Okay. The set was cool. I'll give him that much.

Okay, so last night my work gal pal, Sue and I shuffled off to Mr. Small's (site of last Sunday's uber fabulous Old 97's show) to catch a sold out Smashing Pumpkins show. Billy Corgan, channeling Uncle Fester in an unflattering striped Brian Zatabatik shirt, is touring with a newly formed band of unknown youngsters half his age which he procured from an open audition call. It literally was like take your kids to work night.

Uncle Fester looking resplendently off kilter in Brian Zatabatik

I'm not a Pumpkins enthusiast, but there are a number of songs I find brilliant, and I've never seen them live before so I thought I'd bite and tag along. Should be cool, right?


My twitter feed says it all:


"Well..that was a self-absorbed, over indulgent, atonal piece of shite gigantic waist of $50."


Outside of the three hits, "Today", "Killer in Me" and "Tonight, Tonight" the rest was just a bunch of monotonous, grinding guitar and bore-me-to-tears jamming. The sound system is horrible at best in this building anyway so lyrics are downright unintelligible, especially when they insist on cranking everything up to 15. All that added up to every song sounding almost exactly like the last. I swear there was absolutely no variety of tempo, melody or beat.


A big fat UGH!!

Uncle Fester and his band of children

You can tell I was less than thrilled. I only recorded one song for Pete's sake! Thankfully it was early on and a good one. The crowd was singing along to "Today" full force.



I should have been tipped off to the monotony to come from the opening act, Killing Hanna's screeching, Howler Monkey, ear bleeding, angsty anger. Two thoughts kept crossing my mind during Billy fest:


1. Will you finish up already!
and
2. Tell me again how these people are so popular and Old 97's aren't!?


And to top it all off it was like 1000 degrees with suffocating humidity in that dump. Every time someone walked past they rubbed a fresh layer of clammy slime on my arm or back. Once in a while there was actually a short breath of cool air...or maybe it was just some yahoo breathing down my back. Whatever. It was a sweet, brief reprieve.

Smiling through the beads 

Look at us. We look adorable, but we're glistening with sweat. I mean my yeti-stache was dripping. Seriously. ICK!


Okay, a couple high points, one literally. As Richard Dawson would say...


"Show me ... GANJA!!"


Dude, there was more sickening sweet smoke swirling around all up in my nostrils than in Ziggy Marley's garage. Alas, there was not enough Mary Jane in the building that could have made me enjoy this concert, but the contact high was rather nostalgic.


The other positive point of the evening was the drummer. This kid was amazing!! Hammering out the beat box like men twice his age with twice the experience. This tender tot of 20 has gone from working at McDonald's a month ago to pounding the skins on tour with Billy Corgan.

This tyke is pinching himself everyday

Only in America, right? You gotta love it. 


So there you have it. Billy's tour is not the brightest bulb in the musical pack. Unless you're a died-in-the-wool Pumpkins fan or have access to kilos of weed, save your money and just pop your favorite SP CD in the player.


You're welcomed.

Friday Photo
a tearful farewell to my lovely niece, Regi

Regi leaves this morning to start her life's journey in the land of the setting sun, Japan. Whether she knows it or not, she'll be taking a piece of my heart with her...


I miss her already.
:...(

Running On Empty And Lovin' It
or the 23 1/2 hour day I spent with Jack Johnson

Okay, so yesterday after waking at the unGodly pre-crack of dawn hour of 3AM, I traveled to Blossom Music Center with my friend, Sheila and her girls to see Jack Johnson perform on a very toasty summer night. We all were excited because Mr. Johnson-THE perennial Hawaiian surfer boy-NEVER tours close to here. I've wanted to see him since his outstanding first album, Brushfire Fairy Tales. It's been a long wait, but well worth it.


SQUEEAAAALLL!

Being our dorky selves outside the gate
Sheila, Abby, Sheila and Moi (humidity-not a good friend)

So we piled in the car and two hours later were driving for what seemed like for-effing-ever to get to parking lot E. Blossom is HUGE! The performance shed is located in the middle of hundreds of acres of beautiful woodland. 

The original Shed venue in its lovely surroundings

Look how cool the inside is. 

The structure is very organic and sits unobtrusively in bowl of a hillside. There are plantings everywhere. No other shed venue comes close to the park-like surrounds of this original.

Embarrassing the teenagers
Nice air, Sheila!! 

Not to be outdone, the girls FINALLY show their stuff

Check out these jump pictures!! They were both captured on the FIRST TRY! I love this new camera! It used to take me at least eight tries on my old beast just to get the timing right. This Panasonic rules!!


Moving on...


Johnson is a big environmentalist, so to that end there were booths of charities and foundations present to talk with everyone as they ambled to take their seats, as well as water bottle refilling stations in an attempt to cut back on plastic usage.


In the middle of the tents, G. Love (sans Special Sauce) set up and played for about 30 minutes to a fairly large crowd. It seemed odd that G. Love who Jack Johnson wrote for before he became all that, would be relegated to the stage equivalent of the kid's table at Thanksgiving. Seemed kinda rude, you know? Aaaa, but turns out Mr. Sans Sauce was the second opener for the evening at the adult table stage.

G. Love Sans Sauce playing at the kid's table
How cute are those kids with the hats?

Mr. G bringing the love one song at a time

I'm not that familiar with his work outside of him being bluesy, but boy can he generate a BIG sound with just his telecaster and harmonica, getting the crowd all fired up and singing along. I was pleasantly surprised. Later he joined Johnson on stage to interject some of his high energy for a couple songs.


Johnson took to the stage in his breezy, surfer boy style and launched into three old favorites right off the bat before crooning a couple new tunes. The crowd stood from the start and remained on their feet for the majority of the ninety mellow minutes.

He played most of my favorites including Taylor, Bubble Toes and Flake. Here's Bubble Toes from last night. Okay, most of it. My battery died towards the end, but still how great is it to hear thousands of people sing your song back to you?

See? Isn't he the grooviest? How could you not bop around and feel happy listening to him? Plus, seriously. How great is this camera, huh? We were way in the back, for Pete's sake.


The encore was him, alone with his acoustic treating everyone to exactly what we'd come for...a couple moments chilling with one of the coolest guys in music. He called everyone on stage to sing the popular "Better Together", musically summing up his philosophy that together we can make the world a better place.


Oh yeah, and in keeping with my whole Summer of Cover Lovin', Ole Jackie pulled out a cool as ice, surfer rendition of Steve Miller's The Joker. And the streak keeps going. 


So, 23 1/2 hours later I pulled into my driveway completely exhausted, happily humming a cheerful little ditty  as I drifted off to slumberland... 


Okay, it was more like a dizzy drunk passing out after downing about 20 shots of Yager, only without the pee-stained pantaloons as the mark of shameful excess and questionable hygiene practices. I could barely drag my sagging ass out of bed this morning. No matter. It was worth the fatigue today. 


Maybe I'm getting too old for this. Pfffft!! No way! Outside of the fact that I'm looking more and more like the Crypt Keeper, I'm having too much fun to stop. Like our friend says, I can sleep when I'm dead, right?