You Can't Get There From Here
or Dear Long Island Expressway: What the ef is your problem? why you be hatin' on us?

Okay, so we have friends, Kirby and Carla who live a mere 3 1/2- 4 hours north of us. They're a great couple with two terrific kids. We've been trying to arrange a time to meet up for a visit all summer, but to no avail. By sheer coincidence, (there's that wonderful phenom again) they were in NYC the same time as we were.

They always stay at the famed Chelsea Hotel, a stone's throw from our favorite old haunt, Moonstruck's diner. The same waiter's been working the tables ever since we started coming here 25 years ago. We were regulars then and he still recognizes us.

stairway on third floor

We had a fantastic time noshing and catching up. Afterwards we all went to the hotel to check out the famed artwork in the hallways and to hang out on their balcony.

one of the photos lining he hallways

The rooms have been recently remodeled and are pretty large for a New York hotel. It's so cool there. You can feel the creative energy of past residence, Dylan Thomas, Larry Rivers, Sid Vicious. Okay, so you don't really want to feel Sid's destructive energy, but you get the idea. It's really cool.

the lovely lily, kirby, atticus, carla, me, geo
on the balcony at the Chelsea

And the street-side balcony is a special treat. So much entertaining activity going on in that block. Next time we find ourselves looking for a place to stay in Chelsea, we're booking there.

telling tales at the Talkhouse

So we hit the road to head across town via Delancy about 2:30pm. Rhett's show was in Amagansett at Stephen's Talkhouse which is way on the entire opposite f*cking end of the aptly named Long Island. His start time was 7pm, but according to Felicity, our GPS, it would only take 2 1/2-3 hours to get there. We figured we could drop our stuff off at the hotel in Bohemia and have more than enough time to make the 1:20 drive to the Talkhouse and grab something to eat before the show.

WRONG, round eye.

We literally crawled down Delancy Street. The Williamsburg bridge, a mirage mocking us in the distance. But, hey, it was a beautiful day in New York City. We're on vacation. No worries. We've got lots of time to get to Amagansett. Besides, once we get on the Long Island Expressway we should sail along, right?

Wrong again, white girl!

We actually did sail along ... for about 20 minutes, then.

BLAMMO!!

We dropped down to 5mph. Five. Miles. Per HOUR!?! WTF?!? I think I got whiplash from the split-second deceleration. Four lanes and the HOV lane crawling at an almost imperceptible pace ... for no reason. No Accidents. No construction obstructions. No UFOs. No Sasquatch sightings. No shit. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Just miles and miles of cars rolling along at a f*cking snail's pace.

And the long line of cars keeps growing and growing. Is every single person in Manhattan heading to the Hamptons at exactly the same time as us? Seems like it.

Geo tried his best to maneuver through the mind-numbing, illogical traffic pattern in an effort to gain quicker passage, but to no avail. At one point we leapt up to a flaming 35mph, but alas it was all too brief and soon we were back down to a cruising speed of 20-25. All the while, Felicity's ETA display kept getting later and later, adding to our anxiety. Suddenly the 1:10 drive to the hotel had stretched to two hours plus.

We finally hit a burst of open road and realized we were going to have to high-tail it to the hotel, literally dump and run back on the highway and bust ass to make it to the Talkhouse in time for the show. No dinner for us. To be honest, at this point a fifth of vodka was the only elixir imaginable to wash away the lingering ludicrous crap of this road trip.

I love the feel of this still

After zooming through the pristine country side (which we barely looked at), we hit the Amagansett city line with 25 minutes to spare.

Hooray!!

Stephen's TalkHouse

The travel Gods were smiling on us as we pulled into a primo parking spot right across from the front door of the venue. I was surprised there was only one other couple waiting around for the door to open being as it was so close to show time. The doors finally opened and we plopped our road-weary butts in two folding chairs, stage left (our stomachs growling) and ordered up a couple of cold ones.

Okay, so Geo doesn't get why I go on Twitter. He teases me about it and sometimes gets downright annoyed with me, but the truth is I've found value in it. I've gotten free songs, access to unavailable tickets, met some really nice people... While we were entrenched neck deep in traffic earlier, I tweeted:

"It's been a Hellish journey to LI! Won't make it to the @rhettmiller show in time to eat. We need a drink."

Meanwhile, Rhett had tweeted a whole series of delighful little ditties about hanging backstage with the progeny of the Wailer's musicians--mainly how they were making up lyrics to songs, playing video games and just carrying on like 5, 7 and 9 year olds. Once we settled in, we heard the kids laughing, screaming and running up and down the side stairs. I jumped on my archaic phone and tweeted:

"@rhettmiller what the hell are you doing to those kids back there?"

Next thing we know, Rhett sticks his head out the side door, pulls it back then comes crouching towards us saying "I'm glad you made it." and slaps a banana and granola bar on the table.

a study with banana, granola and dork

I'll wait for you so say, "Aaaaaaaaa..."

How sweet is this guy?!?! Seriously. Again. Do you see why I love him?

As we quelled the pains of malnutrition sharing our thoughtfully donated snacks, I explained to my very puzzled husband how that all happened. Between this and Rhett honoring my Twitquest to play Geo's favorite song, Point Shirley, I think he developed a new respect for both Mr. Miller and Twitter. Okay, probably more for the lovely blue-eyed one than Twitter.

Check him out, man! He's totally giving Geo the "hey, dude" eyeball at the end. :-)

The show was as energetic and entertaining as we've come to expect. He never, ever disappoints. He belted out 24 songs and even used his friend Sarah and me as his focal points during his "duet" Fireflies.

*swoon*

I only recorded part of the song, because honestly I felt a little embarrased and unnerved shooting it. Or maybe it was the hot flash caused by the eye contact. Whew Doggie! Ha Ha Ha!!

I have to admit, Fireflies was not one of my favorite songs, but the more we see him perform it, singing both male and female parts, it's definitely grown on me.

One of the things I loveloveLOVE about his solo shows is the banter between songs. It's an opportunity for him to be...well, him. This intimacy is why we prefer seeing bands and solo artists in small venues over ginormously impersonal full-blown production tours. Mr. Miller is never shy about sharing a barb or two like this one about the legend of the naked girl...

Is it true? Who knows. Who cares. It makes for a great story and fun evening. (P.S.: He played Caroline right after this tale. Hmmm... ;D)

Then in honor of the Wailers, we all were treated to a retooling of Come Around in a Reggae beat. Ya, Mon!

Grooviness IS essential...

One quick sour note: You know how when you go somewhere swanky like the Hamptons, you expect to feel like the blue-collar rube next to the classier, wealthier folks who normally inhabit the area? Apparently not so much. Three couples sat at and around our table right before the show started. For the first three songs, the chick behind me would not SHUT THE HELL UP!? She was so loud, I had trouble hearing him sing at times. She was so loud, even Rhett rolled his eyes at her. Her Mama definitely did NOT teach her right. I wanted to turn around and tell her Hello...he's right there!! He can hear you, numb nut. Show a little respect, bee-yatch!

It's a good thing we had a little to eat because otherwise me + low blood sugar + vodka + her megaphone mouth = one potentially ugly ass mess. I guess it's true. Just because you have money doesn't mean you have class.

No matter. Sitting in a darkened club, cocktail in hand, drenched in great music by a sensational songsmith was definitely a perfect end a long, tedious journey.

HOLY CRAP this is epic! Sorry. What's that you say? You'd like to see more videos? Oh well. Okay. Since you insist. Here's one more for the road. Enjoy!



Did you hear that obnoxious chick yakking behind us? Seriously. Shut the F*CK UP!! Check this out...you can see my fantasy hubby semi-roll his eyes at rude girl around 2:32. Geo's laughter is a tip off. Seriously. Some people's parents...

One Quick Note From The Road
or speak up! I can't hear you over this din!

Okay, so when Geo and I drive anywhere, we tend to load up the car with our favorite snacks... chips, cookies, Jax, crackers, cheese, fruit-- Fruit?! Who the Hell put that shit in there?!?


Anywho, we've kind of developed a love affair with Sun Chips. They're so tasty and the "whole-grain goodness" lets you believe you aren't stuffing crap down your gullet when you strap on the feed bag. In an effort to be more environmentally friendly, the good folks at Frito Lay decided to make the bag compostable. It says so... in big BOLD letters...right there on the front of the bag.


What is not in big ass bold letters is that the bag is F*CKING LOUD!! Like, startlingly loud. Like make-you-drive-off-the-road loud. Like ear-piercing, blood-oozing-from-your-ears LOUD.


Listen for yourself:


We literally could not hear each other talk each time we shoved our hand in that obnoxious bag. No shit. I think I lost some hearing on our drive. 


To Frito Lay: Thanks for thinking of our planet, but ..
(opens snack bag- muffled voice)


I said, THANKS FOR THINKING OF OUR PLANET, BUT
(still with the bag and the muffled voice)


OH FORGET IT! I'm asthmatic. I don't have enough air to spare to be heard over that...


Sun Chips... Saving the Environment, killing your hearing. One bag at a time.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation - Part Tres
(because I'm bilingual, Bee-yatch)
or hold on to your lunch--it's Rhett Miller time :-)

Okay, so I'm not bilingual--as if I have to clarify that, but I just did so...whatev. But this is all about the start of an amazing three-date stint engulfed in the magical musical stylings of Mr. Miller.

such a great dimple

Warning: you are entering the embarrassing gush zone. Please keep your arms and legs in the car at all times as it moves through the spectacle. And please, no flash photography.

look... he's thinking how cool it is Geo and I drove up to see him

So my Geo and I got to spend the bulk of my last week of vacation together on a multi-city tour. I so enjoy these jaunts together. We rarely ever get to spend this much quality time in each other's presence. This trek had the added bonus cocktail comprised of a double shot of Rhett Miller in NYC and Amagansett, followed by a Francis Dunnery chaser in Ewing, NJ.

Aaaaaaaah! The aftertaste is so refreshing...

So as it turns out, the concert Gods arranged to have Rhett and Francis playing shows on the same extended weekend, once again converging our two loves. I adore coincidence. Sometimes life is so spectacularly serendipitous.

Anywho, our little anit-Bermuda Triangle of musical musings went from New York City to Amagansett, LI to Ewing, NJ. Geo and I made great time on the first leg, reaching our SoHo hotel in a mere 6 1/4 hours.

from our hotel window. love the blue water tower
plus you can barely see the dead body on the roof
i kid. he was just dazed.. or tazed. not sure which
again, kidding

We killed a couple of hours strolling around the shops of SoHo amid a warm, gentle mist of rain. It was one of those classic romantic Manhattan afternoons that begs for you to sit under an umbrella at an open cafe, sipping red wine, watching the working class go by...

But alas, we couldn't indulge. We had more pressing plans for the evening. My fantasy husband was going to perform in a few hours!! I mean, come on! Priorities people!

We were invited to a wine tasting prior to the concert. The wines were rich and full-bodied, but paled by comparison to the incredible company at hand. :-)

So the City Winery is this great amalgam of the owner's two loves...wine and live music. They actually make wines in the basement of the venue and they are damn fine!! We tasted a couple of reds that were truly some of the smoothest fermented grapes I've ever had the pleasure of consuming. The stage is in the middle of a sizable space filled with tables resting atop hardwood floors and a corner bar. There's not a bad seat in the house. The lovely blue-eyed one was having a three-week residency at the Winery, this being the first.

As an added bonus, the opening act was The Spring Standards who I had seen open in Pittsburgh for local favorites, The Clarks. They are awesome and so talented. I still marvel at their ability to juggle playing several instruments at once and sing. I was excited for Geo to finally see them live. They're really sweet, too. We caught up with red-haired James coming out of the winery on our walk back to the hotel.

James, on his way to walk dogs
with the red hair, we look related... of course his is real 

Heather was gracious enough to say hi after the show. She has the most incredibly clear voice.

Heather, being lovely

Mr. Miller was buoyant when he hit the stage. There were a lot of familiar faces in the crowd including a table of his close friends. We've been to shows in the past where his friends were in attendance. It's so much fun to watch him sing when he's comfortable and playful. Tonight was no exception. Rhett charmed the crowd with stories and self-deprecating humor while wowing us with his usual passionate, balls-to-the-wall performance breaking a few strings along the way.

He played a couple of new songs from the Old 97's upcoming release The Grand Theatre, Volume One. (available in stores and online October 12!! Order now!) Volume Two will come out next Spring. Yay!! (does embarrassing Elaine Benis-like, white girl happy dance!)

Anywho, he shared an anecdote or two before playing The Magician. You can hear Geo egging him on at the start.

(again, click on the video to link to YouTube for the full HD video)

He played another new one, Whiskey Take The Reins he wrote after his friend, Marcy nagged him to write after he made a flippant comment during a gig about ...  Oh just play it. He tells the story much better than I.

Can't you just see this character all smoky and liquor-drenched hunched over a splintered bar top?



Altogether now... please don't call me cool, just call me ... ASSHOLE!!!

Okay, one more because I'm hooked on his witty banter...

I love that you can hear Geo laughing and enjoying himself. Kind of justifies--in my head anyway--dragging him all over the Eastern seaboard to watch my fantasy husband entertain his adoring public.

If you're interested, you can view the rest of the videos from the evening on my YouTube channel.

One of the things I love about Rhett and the Old 97's is a sense of community among the fans. I've met a number of people, all of whom have been delightful. Through the magic of Twitter... yes, Twitter, I met a sweet, sweet young woman, Josyln.

With Josyln

She ended up sitting literally two seats in front of us. Another in a long line of coincidence. We've already discuss plans to meet up at the December shows--another coincidence for another time. It's so much fun to be with others who aren't afraid to sing along. We also met up with our fellow enthusiasts, George and Maria along with some new friends-- Jules, Marcy, Sara and Jen.

george, maria (with Geo's kick-ass tee), jeff, joslyn, me & geo

with our new friend, Marcy

Our little family keeps growing.

We didn't get to see the man of the evening after the show, but a very good time was had by all. Next stop.. Lawwng Islundt. Watch out Muffy and Biff... The Clampets are heading your way.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation - Part Deux
or road trip to rural New York with my own Betty White

Okay, so my Mum, Big Mar, hasn't been to see my brother for a proper vacation in about five years. She's almost 89 and doesn't feel comfortable being on a plane by herself. Since I had a week of no plans in the middle of my two weeks off...

Did I tell you I had two weeks off in a row? OMG! Best. Thing. EVA! If you've never taken two weeks off, DO IT! It's the absolute best way to decompress and forget your workplace.

But I digress...

Since I had no plans for the week, Big Mar and I decided to drive up to the Hudson Valley to impose upon...er, visit my brother and sister-in-law. They live in the charming town of New Paltz...a mere stone's throw from my fantasy hubby's domicile.

*Sigh*

"Wait... What?!? You were in my town? Why didn't you tell me?"

Aaaaa... Look. He's bummed he missed me. What a sweetheart! Sorry, Hon. This visit was all about family time. Next time we'll hook up for sure. Take you out on the river. Promise.

Anywho, we buzzed up north in Rita, our radiant, red, riding machine. We made it in record time--6 1/2 hours, thanks in large part to the NASCAR nature of I-287. Man oh man! That was big FUN! Just keeping up with traffic, I was sailing along at an almost steady clip of 89.

So anyway, this was the first time I ever spent concentrated, one-on-one time with my SIL, Leslie. Weird, but true. She's been a member of our family since 1987, but we've never had the opportunity to hang out at length.

She's an artist in the truest sense of the word. She's a fiber artist and ceramicist by trade, but everything about her--her dress, her home, her meals is a work of art.

the guest bedroom inspired by pods she found on the road

mushrooms in the corner of the dining room
that's random cutlery affixed and framed on the right

she even makes crappy lampshades festive and bright

Hydra-inspired trees made of plastic bottles and discarded pipes
I think they look like palms

She's an organic artist using recycled materials (clothes, buttons, bottles) to replicate her visions of nature. Her interest in fiber started after her children grew up and out of their baby clothes. She couldn't bare to part with them, so wove them into tapestries and pillows so they would be with her always. Sweet, isn't it. From there she's gone on to purses, vessels and totems.

Their house unintentionally doubles as an installation of her work. It's everywhere and she's always changing it. There's something interesting to found everywhere, even places you wouldn't expect like those little, boingy doorstops. She can't help it. It's who she is. And it is absolutely delightful!! Her youthful enthusiasm is infectious...in a very good way. She's just plain cool.

You: But wait, what did you guys do while you were there?
Me: Alright I'm getting there. How long have you known me? You haven't noticed I'm verbose and ramble on and on and on, ad nauseum? What are you, new?

So, anywho...She and I are early risers, so we went to a supposed off limits watering hole that has beautiful waterfalls. I say "supposed" because apparently lots of folks trek through the fencing to swim in the stream. It's gorgeous there. Tranquil. Quiet, except for the rush of water. Just us and their puppy, Otto.

We so naughty

Surprisingly I didn't fall and crack my ass on the uber slippery rocks. Thank God it was just the two of us, because the sight of me crawling ashore, desperately clawing for purchase is no sight for man nor beast nor...Sasquatch, for that matter. For the record, Grace is not my middle name.

By the time we stopped for breakfast and wandered around the grooviness that is New Paltz, Big Mar was up so we hit the road for Woodstock to meet up with Leslie's Mom. After lunch the old gals hung at the restaurant shooting the shite while Les and I roamed the streets in search of ... whatever. There were so many unique clothes! I could have spent a fortune to look oh-so-groovy chic. Instead, I bought these hilarious BlackBars instant anonymity glasses.

OMG!!! I LOVE these things!! They make the most innocent of photos seem sordid. We are totally taking our next formal family picture with these things on.

Big Mar and her cohort, Brownie plotting their next heist over a nice cuppa tea

What the hell are these old gals up to anyway? What's she packing in that cane?

The next morning we dragged Big Mar along with us to a small river. We set her up on shore and dove in to race Otto to the thrown sticks.

another peaceful morning in the beautiful Hudson Valley

Big Mar chilling on the shore

Les and Otto

We tuckered him out

On the way home we stopped in the mountains for a scenic look, then home to meet my bro, Buddy. Next stop--a spin on the Hudson in his little boat.

rock climbing cliff behind us-also filming of Last of the Mohicans took place around here
mmmm...Daniel Day Lewis!!!

My poor Mum. She was terrified to walk the plank to the boat, but we got her in with little difficulty and off we went. (now the deboarding was a little more...challenging. let's just say we didn't drop her in the drink and leave it at that, shall we. We shall.)

It was a gorgeous day. Barely a cloud in the sky. We buzzed past the Astor property where the tents from Chelsea Clinton's wedding were still standing. Then Bud opened her up to head downstream.

lighthouse near mouth of marina

I love boats.

My brother-in-law, David used to have a sail boat we took out on Long Island Sound. Many a day we spent hanging over the edge to counterbalance as the wind zipped us along the open waters. Exhilarating.

Buddy. Happy.

Bud loves boats, too. Look how happy he looks. He works so hard. He really deserves this kind of fun.

Boating and Beer. A nautical tradition passed down for generations.

Once we parked, Les and I jumped in the surprisingly clean Hudson giving Big Mar and Bud a chance to spend some quality alone time together.

Because we can't go anywhere without jumping

I swear to God I was submerged in water more these two days than the entire summer. HaHa!

Look at Big Mar gazing adoringly at her baby Boi-ee. We always jag her that he's her favorite. But, come on! He totally is. Of course it has nothing to do with the fact that he's charming, funny, successful, generous and handsome.

Wait.. Ewwwww. That sounds like I have a crush on my brother. Ewww. No! He used to torture me when I was a kid, but fortunately now he's just a really good guy. Plus I'm not afraid to give it right back to him. So there's that.

We left the next day, but not before eating exotic poached eggs at the primo Bistro Cafe in town. Oh and stocking up on the most beautifully crafted tie-dye shirts. Apparently I'm a sucker for tie dye as well as joke prop glasses.

Big Mar and I had a great time. It was so wonderful to visit with Bud and Les in their own habit trail for a change. We're going to try to make this an annual event.

Oh Oh... a funny thing from the drive home. I pulled into a gas station in Carlisle so we could stretch our legs. While we were stopped a HUGE semi pulled behind us on his way out to the highway. Big Mar looks at me and says, "Holy Hell. Watch out for that big-ass truck behind you"

Ha Ha!! My 88 year old mother used the term "big-ass"! How awesome is that? It's like traveling with Betty White.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation - Part 1 
because there was just way too much awesome for one posting

Okay, so I have been woefully inadequate at keeping up with all the happenings this latter part of summer. I've been having such a terrific season. I don't want it to end. Ever. It's been oppressively hot and humid, but I've actually come to enjoy the ever-present moist conditions. Quite the accomplishment managing one's own personal summer along with the discomfort of the season itself. Plus, my usually lifeless, dull wavy-ish hair has decided to curl into lovely ringlets. Sweet!


The shorter days, longer shadows and cooler winds we're having this week are making me feel melancholic. I'm not ready for the Fall yet. I DON'T want to watch football! And I am NOT wearing socks, dammit!! It's only August, for Hell's sake!?! 


I propose Fall take an extended vacation for another two months, you know, until October when hockey starts. Then it can come over for dinner, we'll drink some wine, watch movies, kibitz... It'll be fun. In October.


But I digress...


My Awesome Sauce Summer Vacay started with our annual Card Club weekend trip to Mentor, Ohio on Lake Erie. Every year we pile into a couple vehicles-squeezing in amongst all the junk food and liquor boxes-and make the 2+ hour jaunt northwest to bask and bond in the bountiful sunshine. 


Even though we never play games at our monthly "meetings", we tend break out the games for vacation. This year we played Fact or Crap which we turned into a drinking game. Natch. 

Salsa and Hummus and Cheesy dip, oh my!

Um...I'll say CRAP. Definitely.

As you can see the table was covered with more snacks and spiked beverages than game pieces. 


We did the usual... drank, strapped on the feed bag, exchanged the most hideously horrifying thing found in your house disguised in a beautifully wrapped package...

Yeah. Those slippers are made from Maxi Pads. Hmmmm...pretty..icky, that is.

drove all the men mad at the beach & pool with our babe-iliciousness.. What? Shut up! It's my blog. I'll spin it however I want.

Too much brilliant Babeness for one swimming hole

Even the sun couldn't compete with our gorgeousness and decided to hide

Nice roots, Chippie.


Through a hotel SNAFU, my sister and I actually had a bedroom and real bed to sleep in this year. A ginormously comfortable first!! We always end up in the living room on the sleep sofa. We celebrated by jumping on the bed...

Not bad air for an old gal

The blood stain I left on the ceiling wasn't too noticeable. I kid. It took us a while to scrape it off. Shit! That ceiling was rough.


We tortured Di on her birthday. Every year we're away during the anniversary of her birthing. This year was the big Hawaii 5-0. We snuck a severed head in her bed, ala The Godfather. Like any true girl, the chocolate cake made up for it...along with the jello shots.

Poor Di. She's the only true lady in our group. She's elegant and graceful... and each year we hit new heights of retardedness.

Madonna stopped by to impart her well wishes

We hide severed heads, make her wear stupid things, and yet she laughs her way through it. It must be the whiskey.

Somehow this severed head has become our mascot

at least they ain't made of maxi pads

Di actually wore these stupid things without any cajoling from us. Can you believe it? I think the liquor's successfully killed the brain cells that make her give a damn. HaHa!


The rest of the time we spent hammering out our travel plans for next year's 20th anniversary vacation. Believe it or not, we've been together for 20 years... where does the time go. It's true what "they" say. Years zoom by when you're having a blast with a gaggle of crazy-assed girlfriends.


Next year we set our sites on Myrtle Beach in May. South Carolina. You've been warned.

Saturday Morning Quickie
oh oh! That's what she said!!!

Okay, so I have tons to share, most of it centering around what I did on my summer vacation and the fantasy love of my life, Rhett Miller, but I just got back from a whirlwind 36 hours in New York City and Geo's making breakfast (mmmmm....breakfast) and I'm having trouble figuring out how to upload the uber terrific videos from my new swanky camera and I kinda want to spend this rarest of rare Saturdays off with, you know, my hubby and.... yadda yadda yadda

Anywho, we subscribe to a newsletter by this guy Bob Lefsetz who is some kind of muckity-muck in the music biz. He's really good particularly if you're interested in his opinions about the state of the music world. You can subscribe to his newsletter here:

http://www.lefsetz.com/lists/?p=subscribe&id=1

Again, I digress...

So, his last posting was all about how certain songs produced today would never have been a hit or even heard 20 years ago, but with the onslaught of YouTube, pretty much anything goes. He found this video that is the irresistible combination of questionable content set to the most contagious old-school, soul be-bop, Motown beat. Think Gnarles Barkley meets The Spinners. This is one of the best I-hate-you-I-can't-live-without-you break up songs.

It is absolutely not work viewer friendly, so put your freaking headphones on Asshat because you are going to LOVE IT and want to play it over and over and over ...

(P.S.: You have to click the corner to watch this masterpiece full screen on YouTube)

And haven't we all wanted to say this to an Ex!! Why is this not on iTunes? Seriously. I dare you not to get this stuck in your head. Just try not to sing the chorus aloud at Chucky Cheese.

Enjoy your Saturday!