In Praise of Tosh.0 

or this guy ain't right!!  

Okay, so I finally caught Tosh.0 Thursday on Comedy Central after The Colbert Report. OMG! This dude is so wrong, it's hilarious! 

Dan Tosh already has a hugely funny stand-up airing on Comedy Central, and Tosh.0 is brand new to the network. One of the humorous elements of the show is "web do-overs" where he let's the person who made a fool of him/herself reenact the embarrassing scene with a better outcome. This week's do-over involved a guy who threw up on an interviewer's desk...live...on the air. Other bits include a weekly flower shop video with David Koechner, one minute with Fred Willard and to end the show, a YouTube video montage of folks doing idiotic things. This week's montage was all about morons on treadmills. I'm not ashamed to say it made me cry.

Anyway, you can check this week's as well as last week's installment here. 

Enjoy!

Friday Photo #25

Okay, so there's obviously a story behind how I came to be in possession of this card. Brevity is not in stars for this post. Sorry.

Several months ago Geo was on the computer trying to buy something off of the Barnes and Noble site when he noticed the credit card was almost expired. When I called the credit card company to see when the new card would be sent, I found out the payment was due .. the NEXT day. Geo jumped on line and sent the payment off on its way. However, this launched a frantic search through a couple of stacks of papers for the missing bill. 

Me: May I help you look for the bill, Honey? (you see how sweet and nice I was? I swearz to God I was nothing but sweetness and light. Honest. Seriously. Not snarky at all.)

Geo: No. (rifles through first pile-visibly annoyed)

...a minute passes

Me: Are you sure I can't help you? (batting my eyelids coyishly)

Geo: NO. (a little more tense)

... another minute passes, still no bill

Me: Are you sure I can't help you look--

Geo: No! What would help is if you'd stop looking AT ME. Grrrr! Snarl! Gnashing of teeth! Bark Bark!

Me: Ooooookay then. (exits room, heads for upstairs bedroom--quietly. I swear there was no slamming of doors or anything-which is quite a feat for me, lover of slamming of things)

After a little while I came back downstairs, Geo apologized for wazzing on me and it was all over. That's how we fight. Snark, blow up, give a wide berth, apologize, over. Next! There's less bloodshed this way. 

Anywho, the next day I was in the kitchen when Geo came home. I walked into the dining room and there was a little white bag with a card attached. Naturally, I looked my dear, dear husband in the eye and asked, 

What did you do? 

G: Nothing.

Me: No really. What did you do?

G: Nothing. I just felt bad about yesterday. 

M: But you apologized already. It's over. We're good.

G: I know...Just open the stupid card!!

I opened the envelope...and I laughed my ASS off! 

What a great card, and oh, so appropriate. Thinking this quote was from a heartfelt love poem, we jumped on line in search of the source. Sadly, it's an essay about friends and not some admonition of Emerson's undying devotion to an unattainable love. No matter. This note has a permanent perch on our mantle. It never fails to make me smile each time I walk past it.

Geo is the best. He is once again suffering my obsession with all things Old 97's/Rhett Miller. Today we embark on part one of Rhett Fest '09. We're heading to Ford, NJ for an in-store performance by my fantasy second husband, then off to Hoboken to catch the band at Maxwell's where we will hoist a cocktail or two with my fellow Rhett lover friend, Cindy from Austin. I'm looking forward to singing along with an equally enthusiastic fan. Poor Geo. Say a little prayer for him.

Do you see why I love him? I'm sure the sentiment of this card will run through his mind more than once this weekend. 

"I Don't Think We're In Kansas Anymore"

or my night caught in circular signature Hell... 

Wow!

Last night's weather was WACK! Seriously frelling...no, I need to use a stronger word here...fucking Armageddon! It started off with severe T-storms and rapidly progressed to countless sightings of what the weather prognosticators dub "circular signatures" or atmospheric conditions which could lead to tornadic activity. And did in one instance. 

There were tons of lightning strikes to go along with the heavy, heavy downpours. 

The crazy thing is this storm line didn't weaken as the evening progressed. It actually seemed to get stronger at some points. A link to more viewer photos, including a funnel cloud spotted in a suburb, posted on the KDKA website is here.

The fun and games at the Special K started at 4pm. The entire three hour news block (yeah...we do three hours of LOCAL news every night. Seriously. Three. Hours. We barely have enough crap to report for one hour, let alone three, but, yeah...three hours. It's madness, I say. Madness. But I digress...) became pretty much the Weather Channel with a smattering of news and a tad of sports.

We signed off at 6:55pm only to sign back on for a special report from 7:08pm through eternity...well, midnight. And that sign off time took some cajoling. 

Okay, this time around our continual on-air presence was actually valid. There was some major scary shit going down. Four times during the evening our studio lights took a hit and went out. We were able to get those back on quickly. Some equipment hiccuped for a bit and we had some semi-substantial flooding in our basement...the NEWLY renovated basement which was completely totaled by a water main break several years ago. 

You know, you do what you have to do in these circumstances. Every one stays in place as long as it takes, but, come on! They didn't even feed us. I realize the weather was such that nobody was going to be delivering pizza, but they didn't even think to go buy snacks for the crew and talent shackled to the set for eight straight hours. As we say in Pittsburgh, that's just ignorant.

Towards the later half of the long, long evening, everyone on the set started getting tired and punchy from low blood sugar. Our collective 12-year-old boy sense of humor came out to play. Everything uttered from the weather man sounded dirty...all that talk about banging and pounding. Multiple "that's what she said" moments. Plus our male anchor read a story in which the phrase "horizontal drilling" was prevalent. I couldn't look at him while he was reading, because I new he'd crack up on air. Yeah, that kinda crap's a morale lifter for all of us during these times. 

Anywho, it's all said and done and now this morning the confluence of our three rivers looks like this. 

Pretty. There's a lot, A LOT of clean up to do, but no one died or got washed away. It could have been so much worse.

But really. Next time people. PIZZA!! Order pizza!! 

The Weather Is Starting to Get Extreme 

or it must be Three River's Arts Festival Season 

Okay, so this past weekend was the opening of the 50th annual Three Rivers Arts Festival. It's this great outdoor Art, Craft, Music, Film and food festival held yearly in downtown Pittsburgh. Usually the festival lasts 17 days, but due to financial restraints, this year's event has been shortened to ten days.

Most of the people I work with hate this time of year. Not me. I love it. Our building is right smack dab in the middle of the festival with our plaza hosting the artists market. Sure navigating through the throngs of pram pushing parents takes a bit of patience, but I love the atmosphere all the activity creates. Plus this year there's a little stage right outside our door for acoustic acts to perform. 

It's really cool to walk outside and be greeted by a breeze blowing in your hair, people milling around, music floating on the current and the smell of food wafting in the air. It's such a let down when everyone packs it in at the end of the week, leaving the plaza empty and lifeless. Kind of like after Christmas when all the decorations are shoved back in the attic and the house feels plain and ugly again.

So anyway, one of the highlights of the festival is the artist market featuring an array of goods from leather purses, jewelry, textiles, jewelry, pottery, photography, jewelry, jewelry and did I mention...jewelry. Then sometimes there's an odd booth like this disturbing one

Eeewwww. Kreepy indeed. He might as well have stocked that puppy with clown heads as far as I'm concerned. Ick! But apparently, kids love those hideous things. Oh well. As Geo always says, "that's why they make chocolate and vanilla".

I think perhaps the biggest draw of the festival is the plethora of food booths. We span the globe in the gut-buster department. There's Mexican, Chinese, Polish (we do love our pierogies here) and French. Okay they're just crepes, but that's French, right?

We have the ubiquitous corn dog. 

Not just any corn dog...a hand-dipped corn dog. Yum? What? Is that the cadillac of corn dogs, or something? I never got the whole allure of the corn dog. I just don't associate corn encased hot dogs with tasty. Although I'm kinda liking saying "corn dog" a thousand times. Corn Dog Corn Dog Corn Dog 

And of course, let's not forget there's.... 

There are also tons of tasty treats...kettle corn, funnel cakes and divine chocolate covered strawberries.

One of the big crowd pleasers is the musical acts scheduled every night. I admit I'm not familiar with a lot of the bands booked, but there are always one or two worthy of traveling back to town. Besides..it's free. 

The first act on the main stage for this year's festival was The Black Keys with Jessica Lee Mayfield as their opener. JLM is a bit twangy country and an odd combo with the hard rocking sound of the Black Keys, but hey... whatever. Like I said, it's free. Her band was pretty good, but the songs all tended to sound the same. Plus I still don't know what she looks like since she didn't take off the gigantic, big-ass Jackie O sunglasses all night. 

Her brother, however, added an entertainment factor with his antics molesting his upright bass. Once they finished playing, there was suddenly a huge crowd which rushed the stage in anticipation of the arrival of the Black Keys.

I had no idea there were only two guys in this band. They make a HUGE wall of sound for only two skinny guys. Seriously. Insanely huge sound. They were good. Even this dude with the dog enjoyed them. The baby seemed to dig it, too. (One of the many curious sites one spies at a festival)

And, of course, no festival would be complete without a little...

BUTT CRACK!!

All in all, it has been a fine festival this year. I think there was only one night where a "Mother of All Storms" blew through curtailing activity. Not bad for this event. Everyone goes home tomorrow night, leaving our little home away from home quiet and boring again. 

Same time next year?

Lord Stanley, Lord Stanley. Give Me The Brandy!

I LOVE HOCKEY!!

Four and a half months ago, my beloved Penguins struggled to get a play off berth. Now they hoist the coveted Stanley Cup after one of the most exciting games in hockey history. It was a hard fought journey. They played their hearts out. They never gave up even after being down 2-0 in the series. They forced a game seven after a commanding win at home for game six. Thanks to Max Talbot's two brilliant goals tonight, they pulled out a 2-1 victory. 

I jumped... I screamed.... I cried... Our neighborhood exploded with cheers, car horn blasts and firecrackers. 

It's an emotional journey, especially for us fans, but the  boys came through. I'm so proud of them. They've made our town the City of Champions once again. 

And to Marion Hossa who left our franchise to play for Detroit because he wanted to win a Stanley Cup... Dear Sir: You chose poorly.

Lord Stanley's come to play. This summer the party's in Pittsburgh. Elvis has left the building...with a shiny, old cup.

Way to go, PENS!! 

Friday Photo #24

Thelma and Louise, circa 1991 

Okay, so long ago and far away back in 1991, Beets and I decided to pull a Thelma and Louise--leave our husbands at home, rent a convertible Mustang and head for the beach, namely Wildwood, NJ for some primo girl bonding. We packed our bikinis, Rita fixins, two packs of Newports and headed East to bask in the Northern sun, frolic in the surf and lounge pool side. We were 30 and 31, respectively, thin, vibrant and kinda hot despite the gi-normous sunshades. Hey, it was still basically the 80s--at least I'd lost the perm by then. We were just hitting our stride and had the world by the short hairs.

It was FABULOUS!!! That convertible was the sweetest! Believe it or not, we managed to stay out of trouble while still having some interesting exploits that make me smile to this day. This would be the first of many solo trips to the Jersey shore for me and Beets. Each adventure has deepened our bond of friendship, but this first journey will forever remain the best, the brightest and the dearest to our hearts.

Aaah, the memories. Here's to Soft Bob, water baloons, Harbor Inn karaoke, the haunted house and the "dickler". That's a story for another day.

Twilight Zone Moment of the Week...

or "do do do do .. do do do do"

Okay, so the weirdest thing happened today. My Mom, Big Mar and I were heading back to the car after a scrumptious breakfast at a local diner when this crazy-assed, uber angry woman across the street starts screaming and MF-ing at everyone in general and no one in particular. Her raging rant had something to do with Freaking Men ruling the Frelling world... I don't know. Whatever. Sell it sister like you don't need the money!

Anywho, my car is parked on the Mad Woman of MF land's side of the street. Great. I usher Big Mar north, crossing the street above Her Majesty of Madness, giving this chick a wide berth as we walk to my car parked two spaces in front of her ongoing verbal assault. 

Our journey takes all of two minutes. I help Big Mar into the passenger seat, start to walk to my side of the car, glance back at the corner...and the woman has literally VANISHED. Seriously. Gone. Without a trace. (I never really warmed up to  that show..)

WTF?!?

I didn't feel a shift in the space/time continuum, yet there was not one sign this woman ever existed. No car had stopped to pick her up. She was absolutely nowhere to be found. It had to be aliens, right? Surely aliens don't just hang out in empty Iowa fields looking for odd balls Cletuses to abduct. They vacation in actual cities at times to, you know, mix it up. Well how else would you explain it? 

Seriously weird.

On a similar weirdo note, how about this dude...

He wins, hands down, for freak of the week. I can't remember why he was arrested, but really does it even matter. I mean, COME ON! The guy's not just wearing a ladies one-piece... he's sporting boobies there. AND as our anchoress, Sonya pointed out he had the fashion forethought to wear the appropriate racer-backed brassiere to support his man-boobs without those unsightly bra straps ruining his line. I'm not even asking where he tucked the boys.

Ya gotz to love the strangies. Without them life would just be dull.