Last Minute Christmas Goodies 

or ummmm...thanks? 

Okay so, Netscape.aol is our default home page on Safari. The other day they had a list of the wierdest gifts to give this holiday season. I must admit...I agree. Here are some of my favorites. Remember, these are all actual products available for purchase. Really. I kid you not.

Anti-Monkey Butt Powder. I thought we humans were evolved far enough not to smell of monkey butt, but hey. Whatever. This powder claims to "keep a certain region dry and smelling fresh". Wait there's more, it claims to take care of that dicey dilemma "whether you ride motorcycles or horses, play sports or just sit on your big, fat buttocks all day". It's long lasting, too. Sold!

Not for you, well maybe this will suit your fancy.

Subtle-Butt, another derriere directive is a disposable deodorizer which eliminates gas smells with the latest space-aged antimicrobial carbon technology. Don't you just love technology. You simply attach Subtle-Butt to your underwear and..Voila! you are free to pass gas until your heart's content and no one will be the wiser. "It's great for use in crowds or after a particularly gassy meal." Now that's a claim we all might want test. It comes in packs of five saving graces...and two Hail Marys.

But I think my favorite is this gem.

That's right. Chicken Poop Lip Balm, because nothing says "Kiss Me!!" more than a set of luscious lips lined with fecal matter. Not just any fecal matter...eco-friendly, free range fecal matter. Available at Walgreens.

Happy shopping.