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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Let's Get Ready To Play The Family Feud!!! 
or the curious case of the Chopra's curmudgeon consciousness

Okay, an hilarious exchange happened on Twitter today between a wry writer, Suzanne Munshower, and noted, self-proclaimed "Cosmic Consciousness" spirituality guru, Depak Chopra.

A couple of Chopra's cosmic tweets didn't sit well with Munshower, so she did what many tweeters do, she commented on his BS.

As Shea Bennett from Mediabistro put it, they were pretty light retorts, but clearly, Chopra was not a peace-loving camper when he shot back this tweet:

Real mature, Dude.

Wait. Isn't he supposed to be above this kind of petty rhetoric? Doesn't he pass himself off as more enlightened than the average bear? Of course this against-his-holier-than-thou-principle retort was retweeted ad naseum as well as egged on Ms. Munshower.

As the afternoon's encounter progressed, a Mr. Singh put in his two cents, soliciting another out of public character response.

Yeah. It felt so good to this do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do yahoo that he removed this and several other similar posts from the Twitter stream. I just love that Suzanne's little three word comment got Mr. Trancendental's knickers all into a major bunch.

Nice job, Chopie. Guess what? You're fucking human like the rest of us humps after all. How's that irony taste? Try not to hit your head on your way off your pretentious pedestal.

You can read the entire article here. Enjoy.

In Which I Believe In God, Guardian Angels and American Workmanship

Okay, so I was driving around a blind corner (not speeding for a change, mind you. pinky swear) on this gray, rain-soaked afternoon, when the two cars in front of me suddenly stopped. The road was slick, I jumped on the brakes, the car fishtailed and after invoking Jesus' name, Rita came to a screeching halt a mere foot behind the piece of crap, gray, clown-car shaped Cube.

Fact: I believe in God, Guardian Angels and Divine Intervention.
Fact: I do not, however, believe in the Warren Commission's "Magic Bullet" theory. That's just fucking fantasy.

I know. A declaration of faith sounds hypocritical coming from me, abuser of the Lord's name, lover of the f-bomb and Patton Oswalt's religiously irreverent Christmas Shoes but, I am a spiritual being. Not necessarily religious, but spiritual.

Shut up. I am. Swear to Dogma. You can stop rolling your eyes anytime now.

But seriously, there have been a number of incidents in my life in which I should have died, or at the very least been badly injured. My avoidance of these potentially fatal happenings can only be attributed to the grace of a higher power. A psychic once told me that very thing. She said I have a Guardian Angel who steers me clear of wreckage. I call him Guillermo. He's all tall, dark and ripply. I owe G my life several times over. Hope he gets paid by the hour, because that Dude works a LOT of overtime.

So, yeah, I believe in God, Grace, Guardian Angels, Divine Intervention and in this case, the American Workmanship of a Pontiac Vibe.