25 Years And Counting

or I could swear we were promised silver...

Okay, so Geo and I met in a past life, found each other again on a street corner and married 25 years ago today.

It was a bright, sunny, snow filled day. Roughly 120 friends and family packed into the little gold-domed Ukrainian church. We had a traditional Orthodox wedding. Geo's preference. I was a religious free agent at the time and had no affiliation of any sort. There was no music, just choral chanting, but we wore crowns...

were tied together with an embroidered dish towel and took three laps around the altar before being pronounced husband and wife.

We also lost a couple of witnesses during the forty-five minute festivities. They dropped like rocks from standing so long in the unusually warm sanctuary.

*Wham* Oh-oh. There goes Kenny.

Luckily no blood was shed. Just some minor bruising and one big welt.

You know how people always tell you how you won't remember anything about your wedding day after the fact? Well, I remember a lot of it.

I remember sitting around all morning with nothing to do, then

Blammo!!

Suddenly activity was amped up to a frenzy. I was a veritable blur of white satin and tulle as I frantically donned my dress and veil--that stupid, stupid veil which made me cry an ocean of tears every time I put that f*cker on my head. Veil doesn't have the same letters as "Evil" for nothing--shoved me and the copious amounts of cloth into my Dad's big-ass Buick and dashed off to the church.

I remember my Dad trying to talk me out of getting married as we stood in the vestibule behind the wedding party waiting to walk down the aisle. Seriously. He kept telling me we could run out front, jump back in his car and high-tail it out of there. No shit. Who does that? Ha Ha! I think he was joking, but I'm still not sure.

Doesn't he look handsome all decked out in his fancy tuxedo?

I remember that big, honking, ominous three-bar cross forcefully placed under the word "obedience" when it came time for me to say my vows. In my head there was a dramatic pause followed by an audible gasp from my side of the room (most likely from my dear, protective sisters) as everyone held their breath, waiting to see if I'd actually utter that word. Geo, his eyes silently pleading with me to say the offending noun, trying to tell me telepathically he'd never hold me to it. The notion of an obedient wife was a bit of an issue with me back then. Now, not so much. Like I could ever be the pushover little house Frau. Pa-lease! My mouth's waaay too big. Ha! But seriously, in my head...there was totally a dramatic "Dun Dun Dun Duuuuuuh!!" playing in the background.

I remember my parents missing our toast, because they got lost on the way to the reception.

I remember not eating much which was just wrong because the food was really yummy. I didn't get to drink much either. An oversight I believe I have made up for quite well over the last 25 years.

I remember Geo giving me the major skunk eye when it came time for the ritual cutting of the cake. We agreed to be civilized and gingerly place the morsel of confectionery goodness in each other's gobs, even though the unruly mob was shrieking for a frosting feud.

Do you see the warning in his eyes. He totally thought I'd cave and shove that puppy right up his nose. Ha Ha!

Most of all I remember laughing and dancing and spending this spectacular shindig with our most cherished family and friends.

The DJ, who came with boxes and boxes of 45s and LPs (it was 1985 after all. CDs were a new-fangled invention then) was ready to play "Goodnight, Sweetheart" to kiss off the evening. He had done a fabulous job adhering to our musical wishes, especially by refusing to play Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go, Go". Eeewwwww!! *shudder* I HATED THAT SONG!! I still do. My friends didn't believe we had banished that song and tried to request it. But Bernie B (that was his handle) came through by leaving that puppy at home. Score!!

Wait...what was I talking about?

Oh yeah. Anywho, I was having none of that sappy "Goodnight Sweetheart" crap. I wanted to hear Madonna's "Holiday". Again, it was 1985. And besides it's a good song. It is! Very festive and danceable. Oh, shut up. It was my wedding, and that's what I wanted to hear.

One of my fondest memories is of that last song. All of my siblings were hovering around me like a big ole blob of humanity. We were all singing and dancing as best a blob can when my brother decided he had to bite my veil off of my head like a starving, mad dog feverishly shaking a bone. Then of course it ended up on his head, where the evil thing made him cry an ocean of tears. I kid. He just cried a little. :D

And just like that... it was over.

It was time to leave the party and start our life together.

25 years is a long time, yet it feels like just yesterday. I guess it's true what they say. Time does fly when you're having fun. All I know is I love Geo more now than I ever thought imaginable. We've had our ups and downs, but he remains my True North, my love, my friend, my heart.

Because I know you aren't sick at all reading about me and my life, here are a few more photos from the day we jumped the broom... just for you.

There's always a wise-ass in the family. Geo's bro Mark is that guy.

My College pals. We were into the sunglass thing. I don't know why. It's just what we did.

Dancing like white guys to new wave 80s big hair hits

More fun folks from high school and college we're blessed to still have in our lives

Aawwww! Ain't we adorable? *choke* *choke* *gag*