Search This Blog

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Random Crap N'at 
or what the Hell, Eric?

Okay, so today has been a weird yin and yang sort of day. My morning started off with the most welcomed and unexpected of news... then it all went to shit. I went from euphoria to literal bloodshed in a matter of hours. Leading Yang by 3-1, Yin was kicking my bony ass all up and down the GD street.

F*cking bitch.

And for the record, I kinda resent the notion that Yin (negative) is female while Yang (positive) is male. What the hell is that shit about? Just another piece of misogynistic bull from a male dominated, backward society. I'm looking at you, China. You can shove that notion square up your butt while you're playing with your doodle.

Speaking of doodle players...

So long, Schlong!

Anthony Weiner has decided to beat it. After a lengthy amount of pressure, he released himself...of his duties. Puns most certainly intended. Henceforth some actual quotes from a press release:

Observers noted the decision had to have been extremely hard for Weiner...

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), who had been among those trying to push Weiner outdeclined to discuss him at her weekly news conference...

"if Mr. Weiner is resigning I think he ultimately handled it well..."

It's too bad he was such an asshat, because honestly he was a good Congressman. Alas, the hubris of powerful men is their ultimate downfall. Frankly, I shall miss all the Weiner talk.

one of the many suggested Post headlines

I can't wait to see the real headline in tomorrow's Post. Could it be "Weiner OUT!"

Vancouver, what the ef?!?

So the Canucks lose the Stanley Cup last night and Jeesy Creazy, all Holy Hell breaks out. They're looting, flipping cars, burning buildings... 

Who do they think they are, WVU? Who knew this lovely Canadian town could throw down and be so... Detroit. Since when did Canada become all gansta? It's like opposite day north of the border. Next thing you know they'll be wearing their tukes all sideways, blasting Gordon Lightfoot in their cars and jacking people for Molsons. 

When the police show up in full riot gear, you expect people to flee, right? Most do, but not everyone...
this looks like a comfy spot to make out
"I love the way the flickering flames reflect in your eyes..."

Everybody has their own particular aphrodisiac. Clearly this couple's is mayhem, men in uniform and the pungent aroma of gasoline-fueled torchings. "You had me a flaming Volvo..." (that would be a great name for a band, don't ya think?) Thank God that chippie remembered to wear undies. Just sayin'.

I Wonder If She Likes Cats? 

Maybe just a little. I can't imagine why she's still single. File this in the Thank-God-I'm-Married column.

And finally...

The greatest Mother F***in' kid's book written, read by the baddest Mother F***in' actor, Samuel L. Jackson.

That should scare the little bastards to sleep.