Friday, August 24, 2012
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Knock Knock! Who's There? BAT-SHIT CRAZY LADY!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!
Dude... I totally had a menopausal meltdown last week. Like textbook, poster child, full-on Edith fucking Bunker, hydroelectric asshole, mental collapse.
yaaaaaaaaaay...
It was epic.
I went from zero to RAGE in five seconds flat, followed by despair, self loathing, tears, a brief period of rational behavior (imagine that), more rage, more self doubt, more tears, etc etc etc, yadda yadda yadda, rinse and oh-for-the-love-of-chocolate-please-STOP-REPEATING!!?!... culminating with me collapsed on the couch in a deflated heap of self repulsion.
More drama than the stage can handle.
All this ridiculousness was triggered by something so trivial and insignificant, I can't even pinpoint its origin. The worst part was I was cognizant of my crazy, but could do nothing to stop that freight train from jumping the rails of reasonable reaction.
Dude, let me tell you, it's no fun watching yourself go round the bend. This is the exact unhinged behavior for which I've been apologizing in advance to Geo over the last couple of years, fearing I would devolve into this type of preposterous mood swing. Meanwhile, I've been all proud of myself for not getting all Lizzie Borden on people's asses throughout these changeling years. Up until now, I've been freakishly calm, complacent, and levelheaded, as if I've been neutered. All the jagged emotional edges polished smooth.
Then out of nowhere...
BOOM!!
MIDLIFE CA-RAY-ZAAAAAAAAAY!!
Perhaps the most unsettling factor of this entire sordid affair was how quickly the angst and ire washed away. I swear I could literally feel the lunacy draining from my body, like True Blood's Lafayette expelling an unwanted demon.
The good news is I found that bat-shit crazy bitch who hijacked my psyche, gagged her, chained her up and locked her in a heavy duty footlocker stashed in the far corner of our attic.
Hooka, please! Stay the fuck OUT!
Dude... I totally had a menopausal meltdown last week. Like textbook, poster child, full-on Edith fucking Bunker, hydroelectric asshole, mental collapse.
yaaaaaaaaaay...
It was epic.
I went from zero to RAGE in five seconds flat, followed by despair, self loathing, tears, a brief period of rational behavior (imagine that), more rage, more self doubt, more tears, etc etc etc, yadda yadda yadda, rinse and oh-for-the-love-of-chocolate-please-STOP-REPEATING!!?!... culminating with me collapsed on the couch in a deflated heap of self repulsion.
More drama than the stage can handle.
All this ridiculousness was triggered by something so trivial and insignificant, I can't even pinpoint its origin. The worst part was I was cognizant of my crazy, but could do nothing to stop that freight train from jumping the rails of reasonable reaction.
Dude, let me tell you, it's no fun watching yourself go round the bend. This is the exact unhinged behavior for which I've been apologizing in advance to Geo over the last couple of years, fearing I would devolve into this type of preposterous mood swing. Meanwhile, I've been all proud of myself for not getting all Lizzie Borden on people's asses throughout these changeling years. Up until now, I've been freakishly calm, complacent, and levelheaded, as if I've been neutered. All the jagged emotional edges polished smooth.
Then out of nowhere...
BOOM!!
MIDLIFE CA-RAY-ZAAAAAAAAAY!!
Perhaps the most unsettling factor of this entire sordid affair was how quickly the angst and ire washed away. I swear I could literally feel the lunacy draining from my body, like True Blood's Lafayette expelling an unwanted demon.
The good news is I found that bat-shit crazy bitch who hijacked my psyche, gagged her, chained her up and locked her in a heavy duty footlocker stashed in the far corner of our attic.
Hooka, please! Stay the fuck OUT!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
In Which I Write Completely Random Drivel And Bore You To Tears
Okay, so I've been so lax with this here bloggity blog lately. It's not even that my life has been so rich and full that I have no time to compose entertaining observations (read: mundane minutiae) to force upon you all. I've just been rather... meh.
Anywho, here's a bunch o' crap I found hiding under the dust bunnies in the far corner of my brain closet.
1. I WAS AT THE BEACH!
Briefly. And by that I mean one day with the sole purpose to see Rhett and the Serial Lady Killers play at Bottle and Cork in Dewey after sleeping off the travel exhaustion on the beach, soaking the towel with less-than-attractive drool before driving off to Annapolis to hit repeat and see Rhett and the SLKs play Ram's Head On Stage for over-polite, white people who would not get out of their chairs to shake their asses. Peculiar, but I'll write about that later. Maybe. Probably.
It involves Mr. Miller, so yeah, a good chance of it. Probably. Sand + surf + Rhett Miller = perfect excuse for a road trip.
2. A WHILE AGO GEO AND I HAD A FRIDAY DATE
Yeah. All damn day. It was awesome. Between the breakfast and lunch eating outings, we squeezed in a trip to WYEP (our tres magnifique public radio station) for an in-studio performance from a terrific local band, Good Night States. (I'm not sure if there's a comma there or not. Probably not, but I'm kinda lazy right now and throwing this piece of ACK together on the fly, so not really into the looking up of info. Sorry. I suck.)
Whatever. Their music has a sophisticated, layered pop sound that is full and polished. They were super fun, charming and amazingly sweet peoples.
The drummer, Dan Harding, recognized me from the Twitter which was completely unexpected. (that's how oldsters refer to anything, with emphasis on the "THE"... THE Facebook, THE Interwebs, THE diarrhea.)
Aaaaaaaanywho, turns out Megan runs a local food truck, Frantuary which we have featured on our little dog and pony show, Pittsburgh Today Live...
AND to illustrate even further how small our little universe is, she and her hubby, Trevor (also in GNS) are active members in my best friends' boutique church on the South Side. She plays the keyboards for services. It's a tiny orb upon which we reside.
3. UM...NO MORE PLUMS
I said, NO MORE MOTHERF*CKING PLUMS!! Nuff said.
4. ACTING LIKE IDIOTS, YOU KNOW, FOR THE KIDS
I let loose my inner 10 year-old and participated in a charity water balloon fight in downtown Pittsburgh. It was mayhem. I was soaked on the third toss by an errant balloon splitting open on my head, and it just got more chaotic from there.
Team Yellow, lead by KISS radio's Mikey, dressed in a kilt, breached our line and dove for our extra ammo. Then the other two teams followed suit and pretty soon we were all in one quadrant pummeling each other. Good times.
Local celeb, Ian Rosenberger (of Survivor fame) organized the First Annual event to raise money for his charity, Team Tassy, to continue to help the people of Haiti afford healthcare. With the proceeds from this afternoon of frivolity, Ian figures to help 3,000 people. Definitely a good Karma day. I'll definitely participate in next year's event.
5. OLYMPIC FEVER, KINDA
The London Olympics started this week. The opening ceremonies were long, and at times very boring (thank you DVR for the power-watch the next day), but kudos to the Queen for her "parachute" entrance. She's a cheeky monkey, that Liz.
I usually enjoy watching the summer olympics, but haven't had much opportunity with the time difference and all. Avid watchers have been less than amused with NBC's coverage in general and Bob Costas in particular. I'm not fond of the we-will-only-show-you-USA-athletes-as-though-the-rest-of-the-planet-does-not-exist broadcast philosophy. And I really hate that the network doesn't see fit to show us other country's athletes receiving their medals. Hearing other national anthems was always one of my favorite parts of the coverage back in the stone age when ABC had a lock on the games. This centrist crap is BS. Bring back Jim McKay! To top it off, we're left with viral video of Aly Raisman's crazy-ass parents making a spectacle of themselves in the stands.
You can watch the video here.
Go ahead. I'll wait...
WTH, right? It's like they're on a frelling roller coaster. Ha Ha! Freaks. This is why people hate us Americans. And then today, the Chinese badminton team has been disqualified for throwing games. Corruption in BADMINTON. You can't make this shit up, people.
It hasn't all been a sideshow. One of the most awesome sights came from a British gymnast, Jennifer Pinches (does she? pinch, I mean. verbs as last names...gotta love it.) who is also a nerdfighter, ala YA author, John Green and explained here, when she flashed the nerdfighter sign during competition. She is made of awesome.
Here she is being interviewed by a fellow Brit Nerdfighter, Alex Day...
DFTBA
6. STREET TACOS, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE
Pittsburgh is finally embracing the food truck/street food phenom prevalent in a lot of similarly-sized cities. There is a hot dog truck (see item #2 above), cupcake truck, pirogi truck and Indian food truck and soon-to-be taco truck. The street taco stand is a rather recent culinary development thanks to the increasing Mexican population moving into the Burgh, and good GOD it's a welcomed one. There are two of which I'm aware. One in the Strip District downtown... or dahntahn.
And one on Brookline Blvd. The later offers up to six different fillings on a double homemade tortilla and roughly a dozen toppings. I. Cannot. Get. Enough. Of. This. Stand.
Thank the little baby Jesus for immigrants, otherwise we'd have nothing delectable to eat. Viva los tacos! And beer, because these puppies are SPICY!!
And lastly...
7. THAT'S A BIG ASS SHAWK!!!?!?!
Craaaaazy crackers. But you have to admit, that's a big ass shawk. The only thing that would make me move my largess any faster would be this...
Now that's some scary ass shit right there, yo.
Okay, so I've been so lax with this here bloggity blog lately. It's not even that my life has been so rich and full that I have no time to compose entertaining observations (read: mundane minutiae) to force upon you all. I've just been rather... meh.
Anywho, here's a bunch o' crap I found hiding under the dust bunnies in the far corner of my brain closet.
1. I WAS AT THE BEACH!
 |
| what the ef does this mean?!? seriously. oh dewey beach. you are wack |
Briefly. And by that I mean one day with the sole purpose to see Rhett and the Serial Lady Killers play at Bottle and Cork in Dewey after sleeping off the travel exhaustion on the beach, soaking the towel with less-than-attractive drool before driving off to Annapolis to hit repeat and see Rhett and the SLKs play Ram's Head On Stage for over-polite, white people who would not get out of their chairs to shake their asses. Peculiar, but I'll write about that later. Maybe. Probably.
It involves Mr. Miller, so yeah, a good chance of it. Probably. Sand + surf + Rhett Miller = perfect excuse for a road trip.
2. A WHILE AGO GEO AND I HAD A FRIDAY DATE
Yeah. All damn day. It was awesome. Between the breakfast and lunch eating outings, we squeezed in a trip to WYEP (our tres magnifique public radio station) for an in-studio performance from a terrific local band, Good Night States. (I'm not sure if there's a comma there or not. Probably not, but I'm kinda lazy right now and throwing this piece of ACK together on the fly, so not really into the looking up of info. Sorry. I suck.)
Whatever. Their music has a sophisticated, layered pop sound that is full and polished. They were super fun, charming and amazingly sweet peoples.
 |
| Dan's on the left |
Aaaaaaaanywho, turns out Megan runs a local food truck, Frantuary which we have featured on our little dog and pony show, Pittsburgh Today Live...
 |
| Franktuary in the haus |
 |
| Megan's mate, Trevor |
AND to illustrate even further how small our little universe is, she and her hubby, Trevor (also in GNS) are active members in my best friends' boutique church on the South Side. She plays the keyboards for services. It's a tiny orb upon which we reside.
3. UM...NO MORE PLUMS
I said, NO MORE MOTHERF*CKING PLUMS!! Nuff said.
4. ACTING LIKE IDIOTS, YOU KNOW, FOR THE KIDS
I let loose my inner 10 year-old and participated in a charity water balloon fight in downtown Pittsburgh. It was mayhem. I was soaked on the third toss by an errant balloon splitting open on my head, and it just got more chaotic from there.
Team Yellow, lead by KISS radio's Mikey, dressed in a kilt, breached our line and dove for our extra ammo. Then the other two teams followed suit and pretty soon we were all in one quadrant pummeling each other. Good times.
 |
| post mayhem |
 |
| mud covered |
 |
| with ian, pre-melee |
Local celeb, Ian Rosenberger (of Survivor fame) organized the First Annual event to raise money for his charity, Team Tassy, to continue to help the people of Haiti afford healthcare. With the proceeds from this afternoon of frivolity, Ian figures to help 3,000 people. Definitely a good Karma day. I'll definitely participate in next year's event.
 |
| cape crusader approved |
5. OLYMPIC FEVER, KINDA
The London Olympics started this week. The opening ceremonies were long, and at times very boring (thank you DVR for the power-watch the next day), but kudos to the Queen for her "parachute" entrance. She's a cheeky monkey, that Liz.
I usually enjoy watching the summer olympics, but haven't had much opportunity with the time difference and all. Avid watchers have been less than amused with NBC's coverage in general and Bob Costas in particular. I'm not fond of the we-will-only-show-you-USA-athletes-as-though-the-rest-of-the-planet-does-not-exist broadcast philosophy. And I really hate that the network doesn't see fit to show us other country's athletes receiving their medals. Hearing other national anthems was always one of my favorite parts of the coverage back in the stone age when ABC had a lock on the games. This centrist crap is BS. Bring back Jim McKay! To top it off, we're left with viral video of Aly Raisman's crazy-ass parents making a spectacle of themselves in the stands.
You can watch the video here.
Go ahead. I'll wait...
WTH, right? It's like they're on a frelling roller coaster. Ha Ha! Freaks. This is why people hate us Americans. And then today, the Chinese badminton team has been disqualified for throwing games. Corruption in BADMINTON. You can't make this shit up, people.
It hasn't all been a sideshow. One of the most awesome sights came from a British gymnast, Jennifer Pinches (does she? pinch, I mean. verbs as last names...gotta love it.) who is also a nerdfighter, ala YA author, John Green and explained here, when she flashed the nerdfighter sign during competition. She is made of awesome.
Here she is being interviewed by a fellow Brit Nerdfighter, Alex Day...
DFTBA
6. STREET TACOS, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE
Pittsburgh is finally embracing the food truck/street food phenom prevalent in a lot of similarly-sized cities. There is a hot dog truck (see item #2 above), cupcake truck, pirogi truck and Indian food truck and soon-to-be taco truck. The street taco stand is a rather recent culinary development thanks to the increasing Mexican population moving into the Burgh, and good GOD it's a welcomed one. There are two of which I'm aware. One in the Strip District downtown... or dahntahn.
And one on Brookline Blvd. The later offers up to six different fillings on a double homemade tortilla and roughly a dozen toppings. I. Cannot. Get. Enough. Of. This. Stand.
 |
| Las Palmas es muy bien |
Thank the little baby Jesus for immigrants, otherwise we'd have nothing delectable to eat. Viva los tacos! And beer, because these puppies are SPICY!!
And lastly...
7. THAT'S A BIG ASS SHAWK!!!?!?!
Craaaaazy crackers. But you have to admit, that's a big ass shawk. The only thing that would make me move my largess any faster would be this...
Now that's some scary ass shit right there, yo.
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