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Monday, November 17, 2008

What the ef!?!

or that's not news..

Okay, so I was planning to have a link to an actual, legitimate news story a friend sent which ran on a Los Angeles television station about this salon whose specialty is "dying the hair...down there". (yes, it is ratings month) It was posted on YouTube, but I guess the weenies at the station--the same weenies who thought it was perfectly appropriate to show a random chippie getting her cooter colorfully coiffured on camera--decided they didn't like the pubic...I mean public ribbing and pulled the video from the internet. Pussies. (pun intended)

So now I'm left to attempt to convey the hilarious highlights (again pun intended) of this award winning journalistic effort. The basic idea of the piece is as follows: a pseudo, Euro-trash, Natasha-accented, tuppy fluffer opened a salon whose service is to assist her client's desire to have her "carpet match the drapes", if you know what I mean.

We're not talking just the normal, run-of-the-mill colors like brunette, auburn or blond. Nooooo, apparently the most popular color And the options don't stop there. No sirree, Bob. A girl can also dress up for the holidays using a wide variety of stencils. That's right...nothing shows your Christmas spirit like a big ole honkin' bright green Christmas tree beaming from your privates. Gives a whole new meaning to Holiday bush. But wait--the fun doesn't stop there. No way. Why not shape your lovely lady bidnez into a lightning bolt, classic flower or show your new beau you truly are "money" with a dollar sign etched into the shroud of your junk. According to Euro-trash Tasha (hence forth known as ETTA), men dig the classic heart shape most. No doubt a very sophisticated and scientific poll (she said pole) was conducted for this bit of news.

Then ETTA proceeds to go on and on about how it's like a mortal sin to have a grey pubbie, not to mention a huge turn off for the guy or guys passing through your boudoir. I got news for you, babe. If you've got grey short and curlies chances are you're doing the nasty with a dude sporting his own platoon of senior soldiers.

Too bad the video is down. It really is hilarious. Although I don't know what was more disturbing...seeing a montage of the rapid-fire snapping of waxy strips of linen being ripped from a client's luscious under bottom area, or the fact that this bespectacled chick allowed a random, sweaty news photog film her ham wallet getting cut and colored. Seriously. I never understood how a girl could walk into a salon, drop trou and let a complete stranger mess with her squish mitten.

If I ever stumble across this video again, believe me--it'll be posted. Until then here is a link to the website and an article from CNN. Stocking stuffer anyone?

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