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Thursday, December 4, 2008

"Balls" said the Queen
and the King laughed because he had two...

Okay, so last Saturday Suzette and I were at work sitting around pondering how unusual it is for our hairdresser's six-year-old son to love sushi AND liver and onions. The sushi I can sort of understand, but the liver and onions?! ICK! I mean it's a freaking organ, for goodness sake!?! I don't know many adults who eat that stuff let alone a six-year-old. This lead us to wonder who was the first person to look at a disgusting animal part, lick his lips and say "that big ole, two foot cow's tongue looks mighty tasty. I think I'll boil me up some of that bad boy. Mmmm MMM!" 

Which naturally lead us to the biggest food mystery of all... namely which numb nut (pun intended) gazed at the back side of a bull, spotted its stretched sack of dingly dangs hovering a mere inch above the grassy field and declared those gonads good eating? Seriously. Yeah, I know the story...cowboys out castrating calves...collecting the slimy nuts in a tin pan...yadda yadda yadda--dinner. But, come on. Have you ever seen a bowl of these tendergroins? Not pretty. 

What would possibly possess someone to want to chow down on those puppies? I realize there are few things on earth that aren't yummie deep fried, but I think I'll pass...even if they come with Jimmies.

You know, I've seen grown men cover their boys and cower at the thought of their dogs getting neutered, and yet many a man has entered prairie oyster eating contests. I don't get it. I think my system would reverse gears just watching them consume that "cowboy caviar". 

If you just have to sample these huevos del toro, there are any number of "Testicle Festivals" held throughout the West. Yes. They're actually called "Testicle Festivals". Isn't that a hoot? Eagle, Idaho boasts the world's largest Rocky Mountain Oyster feed held in June. You might want to book your reservation early. I hear the lines for the "swinging beef" get pretty long. (that's what she said!) At least people have a great sense of humor about the whole thing. Check out this logo below. This poster cracks me up!

Tired of serving the same old bacon wrap hor'dourves? This holiday season why not treat your guests to a piping hot dish of Noel Nards with this simple recipe:

2 lbs of slippery calf nuts
crumb mixture

Wash your nuts. Cut your nuts almost through, butterfly fashion. Dredge your nuts in flour, then egg, then crumb mixture. Deep fry your nuts until golden brown. Remove your nuts from the hot oil and place on a paper towel to remove excess oil from nuts. Dip your nuts in your favorite sauce. 

Bone Apetit!

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