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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The World According to Enzyte
or the gift that keeps on "giving"...if you know what I mean

Okay, so one of my many duties at work (she said doodie) is inserting commercial spots into our server. Now I don't know about you, but I'm sick of all the dong-drug advertising on the boob tube these days. I mean really...what the eff does a couple sitting in two separate tubs have to do with "male enhancement"? Or is that sh*t so powerful, the dude's johnson is going bust through the porcelain and come at his intended like a heat seeking missile. I don't think so.

Honestly...do we really need a bunch of bitter, old men walking around sporting crotch rockets in search of a landing strip. Again...I think not. And besides... EEeewwwww!

Anyhoo, one of the many gazillion spots I dubbed today was an Enzyte ad, the "male enhancement" drug that claims to magnify your man-marbles. For a pork steeple drug advert, at least these are highly entertaining. You know the one where this goofy dude is dressed as Santa and he's smiling like a butcher's dog while the voice over guy says clever stuff like... "Bob has a sleigh full of confidence and a sack full of pride and the one thing that every lady likes...the joy of the gift that keeps on giving." Tongue firmly planted in cheek.  


This put me in mind of an email I received at home the other night, coincidentally about male enhancement drugs. The peculiar thing is the sending address was my actual home email address...like I sent it to myself. What the?!? I had been totally Spammed. I'm virtually clueless about computers, but I did see a notation to "click here to unsubscribe". So I clicked unsubscribe.

Holy Crap!?!? My Eyes! My Eyes!

Usually when you unsubscribe it takes you to a fairly blank page wherein you type your email address to be rid of the foul spam. Not this one.

It was...uh, rather colorful and eye popping, if you know what I mean...and I think you do. Filled in fact with multitudes of man-meat in before and after photos. I searched the page...albeit, sloooooowly... for the unsubscribe link. Not finding a link, I thought, well...since I'm here already... you know... what the hell. Why not have a look-see. Check out the before and afters to see if the comparative packages had the same dimples or the images were *gasp* doctored. Purely for research purposes, mind you. Besides I was already emotionally scarred by my initial viewing, so what's another week or two of therapy.

Damn if the pix didn't have the same weird dingly-dang dents and scrotum saggage before and after. G0 figure. Maybe there's something to this stuff. *snort* Yeah, right. Whatever.

In any case, note to self: do not reach for the "unsubscribe" button unless you want an eyeful of the south pole, if you get my meaning... and I think you do.

1 comment:

~*Jenn*~ said...

Omg, SO funny! The terms you come up with totally crack me up, I make my husband read your posts after I do!