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Saturday, August 6, 2011

In Which It's All Fun and Games Until The Po Po Steps In

Okay, so this past week Big Mar and I drove up to the picturesque Hudson Valley to visit my big bro and lovely SIL, Leslie. It's a bit of a jaunt north, but once we hit the 287 interchange... Jesus it's a fun drive, speeding along at a healthy 80+ clip.

Hey, I'm just keeping up with traffic, yo.

This factoid will come back to haunt me later.

While Big Mar slept, Leslie and I headed to our usual swimming haunts in the river and under the falls, walked the Hudson walkway and ate at various diners.

*note:this chattier section is greyhound fueled. I've been sitting on the deck, in the heat imbibing on what is the end of my first week of vacation. BTW, a greyhound is comprised of grapefruit and my best friend, vodka.

additional side note: that last sentence took me six tries to type correctly.

additional side note squared: Geo thinks it's weird that I drink alone sometimes. I say join me and I won't be alone, right? Besides, someone is drinking somewhere. Step back, dude. I'm a happy tipsy doofus, dammit! Besides it's the heat, not the alcohol getting to me....ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz


But I digress...

Note to self:
these rocks are fucking slippery even with new
Keen water shoes
Seriously, ridiculously slippery
so NOT graceful here in the waters

the river is much easier to maneuver my
graceless ass through

Hudson River Walkway
this sombitch is HIGH

majorly high freaking bridge
geo would HATE IT
me, I hate my hair
Jesus Christmas wtf?

lovely vista from the bridge

Every morning I was greeted by this mug.
who could resist this face
especially when it's attached to such
teeny-tiny legs

Is that not the cutest face EVAH?

P.S.: water dogs are the best fun, except for the shedding... and the drooling... and the water smell. Other than that, they're pretty damn irresistible. Seriously cute.

This time around we did the fat-ass rich people's tour of the Vanderbilt mansion.
"oh this little thing. It only has room for 30."

back stairwell to servants quarters
you know there was some shenanigans going on here

This is the smallest of the 42 mansions. Some people have waaaaay too much dough. Am I right?

And then because we're so sophisticated, we had tea at the nearby town of Beacon where we also stumbled upon the grooviest of groovy toy stores filled with high-brow items as these.

Clearly he is the life of the party 

Boobie BALLS!!
So how do you like my new short-as-shit haircut? It's as disheveled as my mind. Whatev. Unlike my ill-fated Skipper doll of yore, this hair grows back.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the art exhibit. One of the things I really enjoy about the New Paltz area is the prevalence of artists. We stopped by a walk-in closet sized gallery on Market Street to discover this exhibit of clothing made from waxed paper. Not even kidding. Waxed paper.
never would have guessed she was an artist
she strikes me as a librarian

Translucent paper garments floating. It was really cool. The artist, Kate Hamilton was hanging around for us to get the lowdown. Some people are so clever.

The other thing I love about New Paltz is the fact it has the most fabulous tie-dye store anywhere. It's called Blueberry something or other. I don't know. I don't care at this drunken point. I just know where it's located. They have the BEST tie-dyed garments. The yoga pants... to die for. Seriously comfortable and make everyone's bottom look luscious. I am not even kidding. They are like miracle pants. If they weren't inanimate objects I would consider having an affair with them. They talk so pretty in my ear. Plus Blueberry has the most adorable children's clothes. Is there anything more "Awwww" worthy than a beautiful cherub in masterfully crafted tie-dye? I think not.

But, alas. Even hippies can be dickish.

Passive/Aggressive much?

Anywho, we had a great time visiting and buying unnecessary shite to lug home in our little red batmobile. Awwww, but Mercury (the universe's right-royal bastardo) is in retrograde. Big Mar and I were 20 miles from home when I saw this in the rearview mirror.

Nabbed. Speeding. Nothing puts a damper on a good time like a set of flashing cherry tops bouncing off the mirror. But I swear I wasn't going as fast as he says. I was just keeping up with traffic.

This time I'm fighting the man, if only to get the points removed. To his credit, the officer was very sweet, so maybe I'll catch a break from the court. From Geo... aye yai yai. Maybe not so much. He doesn't know yet, so shhhhhhhh! Ixnay on the ickettay.

Oh Holy CRAP!!?! Now this.

That is one sad sight, indeed.

Mercury, you're a mean mother.

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