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Friday, October 28, 2011

Because Americans Just Aren't Lazy Or Douchey Enough 

What. The. Hell.

I don't even know what to say. 

Okay, so I saw this in a commercial break during Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It's a joke, right? Please tell me it's a joke. In the words of Archer's Lana Kane,


As if the world doesn't already think Americans are fat, lazy and stupid enough, here comes Snuggie 2.0 to confirm that belief. Let's examine the selling points that would convince one to drink the Kool Aid of the fashionably damned, shall we?

"It's the best way to stay warm outdoors!" (If you've lost every modicum of self esteem)

Hi. I'm Mary Margaret and I'm not wearing pants.

"It will be the talk of your next tailgate!" (um...yeah. everyone will talk about what a ginormous DORK you are)

I'm too sexy for my cult robe.
Have some. It's grape.

"Oh Oh! Gotta go? No worries. The Forever Lazy has zippered hatches in front AND back." (because nobody wants to be downwind of your backside bidnez all smashed up in your honking, shocking pink, adult-sized, baby onesie)

Oooops. I just crapped my pants!
Good God, man! What happens when the zipper sticks, people!!?!

But by far the best part of this YouTube posting by far is the commentary stream.

Me neither, zkree. Me neither.


Christina said...

HOLY SHIT! I think I have never seen something so incredibly ugly before. And I have seen some already ...

Anonymous said...

You plucked one of my favorite images from that crap pile commercial--the scary Pooh-shaped, gray Teletubbie gettin' his drink on with miss '70s thang on the deck. Is that Flo from the old TV show "Alice"?

After watching, I had thoughts of a better-mousetrap version of these things: skip the flaps, Jack, and just rubberize the innards, for the UTMOST in lazy. Gotta go? Just let 'er flo, for that extra burst of self-contained warmth that no one else need know about.


Murray said...

HaHa! The rubberized version best be loaded with industrial strength deodorizer that smells like poseys, rainbows and shattered dreams.