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Friday, December 2, 2011

In Which I Go Rocking Around The Tex-Mex Christmas Tree With Raul Malo

Okay, so I ask you, is there anything that can get you out of your chair and dancing faster than a festive mariachi beat played on the accordion? Seriously, in the correct hands an accordion is a magnificent thing.

Last night Betty, Barney and I ventured out in the cold night air to soak up some San Antonio sunshine in the form of Raul Malo (sporting a fetching fedora) and his band of merry men. Raul's rich and smooth voice is enough to get us out of the house, but when they bust out the accordion and trumpet, it's a PARTY!


The place was packed which meant we couldn't grab our normal table, but no worries, man. The best place to enjoy one of his shows is on the dance space near the bar because there is no way you can stand still for this one. The rhythm grabs you and won't let go. 

At one point an obviously drunk woman bellowed a request to "play Girl in the White Dress". What the Hell is that? Raul called her on it and started getting all up in her shit about screaming for a song that doesn't exist. Next thing you know, the audience is chiming in on the ribbing of both. It was hilarious and all in good fun! 

At one point the upright bass player started playing the line to You've Lost That Loving Feeling, which set them on a medley of what he referred to as "half songs". Bits of songs they sing when they're hanging around the garage drinking beer and goofing off. Can you name the covers?

The sick thing is we knew the words to those oldies. The Polkas were a nice touch though. Appropriate for the South Side of Pittsburgh known for its Polish population.

Being his official Christmas show, he sang a number of traditional and non-tradtional holiday tunes (Blue Christmas, Silent Night) as well as heating up the place with his classic Maverick's, jumping crowd pleasers. They ended their main set with the ever popular (and my favorite) I Said I Love You that had every drunken one of us enthusiastically singing and bouncing.

I love this song. Normally I would have been obnoxious and taped it, but honestly I just wanted to sing and dance with abandon. So as you watch this video, just imagine him with a brown fedora on and not so much... visible chest hair. That would be last night. 

His evening closer was a rousing, high energy, full-tilt extended version of All You Want To Do Is Bring Me Down, leaving us a sweaty mass and promising to bring the Mavericks through again next year. We're holding you to that, Raul.


I have no idea what it is about a Raul concert, but there was some weird-ass, disturbing shit going down in this crowd of predominantly oldsters, most of which was playing out in front of us.


I have no problem with older fans. Hell, I'm in that category, but there were more PDLs (public displays of lewdness) springing up than in any younger skewed crowd I'd been around.

First off, WTF was up with the old guy probing his much younger, beach-blonde chippie with the painted on skinny jeans and mangled orthodontia? Dude. You're standing right in front of me. Hello...I can see your creepiness .

Holy Crap! Stop it.

It's icky.

We debated whether or not she was a paid escort (public pubic probing is an extra $50) although, I don't know, do they let escorts have messed up and missing teeth or was she the Groupon of the day?

Oh, and then get this, ANOTHER woman shuffles over and starts hanging on the other side of him. This frumpy old Tom Cat better be loaded with dough or at least lay some major pipe to attract that action. It's a Viagara night. Again, BLECH!

Guy standing around in the long flasher trench coat. Why? Just...why?

Sporting a boner and sexually mauling your girlfriend is not really the appropriate reaction to a beautiful rendition of Silent Night. Okay, so he wasn't showing wood that I could see (thank God), but seriously, pawing, groping and tongue-bathing your woman to Silent Night... Sorry Jesus.

You can't make that shit up.

I know it sounds like we were completely repulsed by the antics of our lascivious neighbors, but honestly, it made for entertaining fodder. These crazies certainly didn't detract from the true entertainment of the evening, a Texas band whose members were having as much fun playing for us as we were listening to them. His form of Tex-Mex makes me happy beyond belief.

This morning my ringing ears, achy dance neck and burning thighs tell me it was a very good night indeed.

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