Okay, so this past Thursday my KD gal pal, Beets and I jumped into a Hot Tub Time Machine set on 1978, and ventured to the high North 40 to see Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes. In spite of his 66 trips around the sun, SSJ remains a powerhouse from the rock wall of sound era. I haven't seen them since the 80s. They were super fun!
Clad in his usual Chuck Taylors, baggy jeans and signature Raybans, he belted out hit after hit in all his raspy-voiced glory. There was an eight-foot catwalk jutting mid-stage upon which he joked about being Mick Jaggar, cueing the fangirls (aka, middle-agers) to jump up and join him.
johnny and the chicks
They played for a solid two hours, all grinding guitar riffs, pounding backbeat and ballin' brass section. Each horn player took his turn on the catwalk, hamming it up for the crowd. Clearly, they all had as much fun on stage as the dancing masses in front of them. Despite it being a school night, nobody wanted to go home. (You see what I did there?)
ballin' brass on the catwalk
Side note: we were in the younger set of his followers (HOLLA!), but DAYUM those grey hairs represented well on the floor, dancing and singing. Gives a girl inspiration to never say die, which is code for "I'd rather die than stay home in my muu-muu, sipping tea and watching Downton fucking ABBEY."
Not gonna happen.
So what does this have to do with the aforementioned wilderness? Well, calm your impatient ass down, Chester and I'll tell you. Jebus, take a pill.
As I eluded to at the top of this mess, Jergel's is in a town about 35 minutes north of our humble, suburban/urban abode. Beets lives about 15 minutes further north in a bucolic setting, the opposite of suburban/urban.
Let's be clear. I'm a city girl.
Through and through.
I don't like the widerness. The wilderness is creepy as SHIT! The wilderness will fucking kill you.
When driving through rural areas, I'm always startled at how pitch black the world is in the rear view mirror. In darkness that thick, I have a tendency to either a) open my eyes wider than humanly possible in a futile attempt to gather any sliver of light that may exist, or b) close my eyes and pretend the black hole doesn't exist. I know. It makes no sense, but somehow closing the blinds on my optic nerves is a comfort. Being as I was driving, B was NOT an option.
Following Beets through the heart of the Forbidden Forest, her high beams eerily illuminating the stately leafless trees felt like being in the Wizard of Oz. I imagined the trees coming to life, tossing pine cones, apples, squirrels... Then the crazies in my head took over and the woodland creatures turned into flannel clad, psycho killers, wearing clown masks, wielding machetes, jumping on THE CAR AND OMGDON'TLOOKINTHEMIRROR!!!!!!!!!!
*shudder*
*deep breath*
Yeah. I don't like the wilderness.
Anywho...
to cleanse the palate of that unsavory imaginary savagery from the deep recesses of my overactive mind, here are a couple of videos from the ever-entertaining interwebs last week. Okay, full disclosure, I'm using this platform to keep these belly-laugh beauties forEVAH. And I'm not even sorry about it.
First up is a sign language interpreter who really needs to come out of his shell.
I want to parTAY with you, Sir!
Last, but certainly not at all least is the March 16th episode of the brilliant @Midnight. This show is my life support. Chris Hardwick is a GENIUS! Geo and I never EVER fail to bust a gut laughing at the irreverent silliness of this program. Occasionally, there's a grouping of comedians whose wit makes us cry. This was such an episode.
Not just funny... Sofa King funny.
It's only 23 minutes. As Donna from Parks and Rec says...
Dude, Google Feud is my new favorite game!
I cannot stress enough how brilliant this show is. It is the great mood lifter. Better than any prescription pill. YOU SHOULD ALL WATCH IT!
Seriously. Do it. NOW! Don't let the terrorists win.
Okay, so there are a number of events/activities/happenings on my bucket list, which is code for shit-I-want-to-do-before-I-croak. And by "number of events", I mean a crapton. Some bullet points need to be thinned, like sky diving, getting a tattoo on my hip, licking Paul Rudd's face. Those ships have sailed, a mere speck on the horizon of the deep blue sea of youth. At this age, I can't fathom surrendering to the pull of gravity, plummeting towards the earth at warp speed and trusting a flimsy parachute will open to prevent me from splattering all over the earth. Not to mention soiling my drawers high above the tree line. And as for the tattoo, ain't nobody got time for a wrinkly-ass tag on a saggy backside.
Anywho, going to Mardi Gras, The Conch Rebellion in Key West and searching for five-time Strong Man winner, Magnus Ver Magnusson in Iceland are still high on the list.
Who am I kidding, so is licking Paul Rudd's face. Some day I will meet you, adorable Sir!
#RAAAAAWR
#ladyboner
However, I'm happy to say I did get to cross off three items during the last month of 2014.
Bucket List #1: Pens vs Rangers at MSG
Geo and I have always talked about doing a Penguins' hockey arena tour, sporting our colors of support in other cities. As is our annual tradition, we spend the second week of December visiting my sister in northern New Jersey. As luck would have it, the luscious Sid and company were playing the Rangers at Madison Square Garden during our vacation.
Can you say STOKED??!?
Geo, fearing retribution from a perceived unsavory New York contingent, respectfully declined, leaving the path open for my sister to walk the gauntlet with me.
Side note: Another tradition of our annual pilgrimage east is watching the Steelers play at a local sports bar. For the past three years, we have occupied the long side of the bar with the same group of ex-pats and Jersey black and gold fans. Together we eat free popcorn, drink tall boys and cheer on (or scream at) our collective favorite team. Okay, full disclosure, I'm not a football fan at all, (I know, right? WTF??!? Sacrilege, especially in the Burgh) but I look forward to this outing every year. It's so much fun being loud and obnoxious with these people. The camaraderie makes the sport bearable.
But I digress...
When I told our NJ compadres about going to MSG the next night, they all kinda stopped and said, "Yeah, good luck with that." I gotta tell you, their reactions rattled me enough to contemplate not wearing my Crosby jersey...
Yeah, well fuck that noise. I wore my baby blue Crosby shirt loud and proud.
My sister and I had dinner at a burger joint in Penn Station, deep in enemy territory, where the entire wait staff wore Rangers t-shirts and 80% of the diners donned Rangers red, white and blue.
Cue the dramatic music... Da Da DAAAAAAA...
Sitting down, I said to the Ranger-clad fan across from me that I hoped he could still enjoy his dinner with me sitting next to him. He feigned disgust, then laughed. Turns out his son is a Pens fan. All in all, there was a lot of good natured ribbing back and forth between us and other patrons.
pens and rangers fans getting along
there's hope for humanity yet
So far, so good.
I was never in MSG before. It's all bright, sparkling white and clean. When I showed my ticket to the usher, he leaned over and suggested I might want to go into the gift shop and buy a proper shirt. "No, really. It's right over there." Very funny, wise ass. But the joke was on me, because this was the give-away.
as Geo said, it'll make a great rag to wash the car
The game was exciting and fun and frustrating as hockey games can be. We lead initially, then got behind by two with seven minutes left to go in the 3rd period. My sister was ready to write the game off as a loss after the Rangers' third goal.
Wha??!? C'mon! This is hockey, MOFO. In the time it took for me to slowly look at her in disbelief and tell her there was a ton of time left to score, the Pens stuffed one past King Heinrik into the net. Less than a minute later, we tied the game.
And that's why I love hockey. The fate of the game can change in a heartbeat.
Anywho, we lost in overtime, which stung a little being as I HATE TO LOSE TO NY TEAMS, but we still came away with a point. Despite the loss, I thought it was a great experience. We had a terrific time.
Some notes:
A) Being New York, there were celebrity sightings in the audience posted on the JumboTron. That night it was Matthew Brodderick and Catherine Keener.
B) Their scoreboard is genius! The bottom half of the board lists who's on the ice throughout the game. Something ALL scoreboards should adopt.
C) Win or lose, the Rangers gather at center ice and salute the fans at the end of every game. Classy.
And, as much as I hate myself for saying this, their goal song ROCKS!!!
Watching the Pens battle the Rangers in Madison Square Garden... CHECK!
Bucket List #2: Ingrid Michaelson's Holiday Hop
Every December, pop singer Ingrid Michaelson puts on what she calls a Holiday Hop, exclusive to New York City. It's held at different venues each year and sells out quickly. This past December, she held her 8th Hop at Webster Hall in the middle of our vacation.
How fortuitous.
Geo took a pass on this opportunity, so once again, my awesome sister, Laura stepped in as proxy. Double shout out to her because she had no idea who Ingrid was.
ingrid in her holiday garb and uke
cuteness overload
Normally it's safe to get to a show during the opener because the floor isn't packed until right before the main act, thus enabling one to stake out a good position near the front. Not so with this show. We got there roughly 10 minutes after the start and the place was PACKED!! Having never been to her Holiday Hop before, I didn't realize the opener was actually Ingrid and her band dressed as seniors performing twisted carols under the name Ethel and friends.
They were pretty damn amusing. Heads up, mofos: if you ever find yourself in possession of tickets to the Hop, get there early to stake your claim near the front.
ukeleles are serious bidnez
When Ingrid finally took the stage as herself, she charmed her fans with her crystal clear voice, wee ukelele and her bawdy banter as she flounced around in an adorable short green dress with bright red bow. Good thing she wore red shorts underneath. Just sayin'.
You and I is one of my favorite songs of hers. Helloooo...ukelele. Anyway, they always have fun with this one. I say it all the time, how great is it to hear the masses singing your words back at you?
She ended her master set with this rousing Christmas Medley. She's a delight!
Go to Ingrid's Holiday Hop... CHECK!
Bucket List #3: Ringing in the new year with Old 97's
photo courtesy of kristie gripp
Anyone who knows me or has read this bloggity blog blah, knows I adore all things Rhett Miller and Old 97's. I can't help it. They satisfy every pore of my music-loving being. It's safe to say they are MY band. Forever and always.
the most hard working, hard-charging band of awesome
Usually they book a multi-date year-end gig in their native Dallas. Oh yeah, seeing them bust it out in Texas is HIGH on my list, too. Like top shelf, I-can-die-happy-now placement.
But I digress...
As the gods would have it, my favorite foursome booked a two-night stand in Washington, DC for New Year's Eve.
Holla!!
seriously long legs on the Murry man
even in a blur, that mane is magnificent
The Hamilton is a dinner theater space holding about 700. The tables sit on a succession of increasingly higher risers with a shallow standing area in front of the knee-high stage. Naturally, Cindy and I planted ourselves down front, right of center (Murry side) alongside our New York fan friends. That's the cool thing about traveling for Rhett or 97's shows, there is always at least one person I know sharing the front row.
no caption required
This was an interesting set up. The band played from 10:15-11pm, at which time there was a half hour break for the club to deliver ball jars of gumbo, glasses of champagne and party hats/noise makers. Then my favorite Texans returned at 11:30 to ring in 2015 at midnight, bust out the champagne and play us out until 1am.
Oh my God! So so so very much fun!! It was like getting two concerts in one. Each bit performed at full throttle. I can't express enough how amazing they are live. They never disappoint.
At midnight, Rhett popped a bottle of champagne, clinked glasses with some fans in the front and grabbed my friend, Suzanne's homemade Old 97's hat to wear during a rawking version of Auld Lang Syne.
happy new year!
post midnight fervor
props to the hamilton for the trippy lighting
Then they just got more cranked up from there, working everyone into a frenzy through the final lingering, bittersweet note of Time Bomb. The euphoria lasting long afterwards like a Charismatic's revival meeting. Standing before them, anointed in a spray of Rhett sweat...they are my church.
love his shadow
soaking up the adoration from his kick drum perch
time bomb jump
Speaking of Time Bomb, perched precariously atop Philip's kick drum, occasionally even the magnificent Mr. Miller is not impervious to the laws of gravity and champagne covered flooring. The consummate professional Rock God didn't let a tumble stop that train a-rollin'. 100% all in. ALWAYS.
I love him and them with every fiber of my pointy heart. This will go down as one of the best New Year's Eves I've ever spent in all my copious trips around the sun. The only thing that would have made it perfect is if Geo was at my side.
the holy spirit of rock and roll shooting forth from his musical scepter
that's church, baby
another triumph of rock
AND I still got to uphold our annual tradition of flipping off the old year. With this kind of greeting, 2015 has gotta be a good one, right?
Ring in the new year with Old 97's... CHECK!
NYE Setlist
10:15-11:00pm
504
Champagne, IL
Give it Time
Crash on the Barrelhead
Wasted
Niteclub
Lonely Holiday
This is the Ballad
W TX Teardrops
Nashville
Every Night Is Friday Night
Big Brown Eyes
Over the Cliff
(now is the time when we consumed quantities of gumbo and champagne)
(it is also the time for rhett to change from blue shirt/dark jeans
to dark shirt/light jeans. well, played, mr. miller. you didn't think i noticed, but i did.)
.JPG)
