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Monday, March 23, 2015

In Which I Serve Up A Wilderness Hate Highball With A Funny Video Chaser

Okay, so this past Thursday my KD gal pal, Beets and I jumped into a Hot Tub Time Machine set on 1978, and ventured to the high North 40 to see Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes. In spite of his 66 trips around the sun, SSJ remains a powerhouse from the rock wall of sound era. I haven't seen them since the 80s. They were super fun!

Clad in his usual Chuck Taylors, baggy jeans and signature Raybans, he belted out hit after hit in all his raspy-voiced glory. There was an eight-foot catwalk jutting mid-stage upon which he joked about being Mick Jaggar, cueing the fangirls (aka, middle-agers) to jump up and join him.

johnny and the chicks

They played for a solid two hours, all grinding guitar riffs, pounding backbeat and ballin' brass section. Each horn player took his turn on the catwalk, hamming it up for the crowd. Clearly, they all had as much fun on stage as the dancing masses in front of them. Despite it being a school night, nobody wanted to go home. (You see what I did there?)

ballin' brass on the catwalk

Side note: we were in the younger set of his followers (HOLLA!), but DAYUM those grey hairs represented well on the floor, dancing and singing. Gives a girl inspiration to never say die, which is code for "I'd rather die than stay home in my muu-muu, sipping tea and watching Downton fucking ABBEY."

Not gonna happen.

So what does this have to do with the aforementioned wilderness? Well, calm your impatient ass down, Chester and I'll tell you. Jebus, take a pill.

As I eluded to at the top of this mess, Jergel's is in a town about 35 minutes north of our humble, suburban/urban abode. Beets lives about 15 minutes further north in a bucolic setting, the opposite of suburban/urban.

Let's be clear. I'm a city girl.

Through and through.

I don't like the widerness. The wilderness is creepy as SHIT! The wilderness will fucking kill you.

When driving through rural areas, I'm always startled at how pitch black the world is in the rear view mirror. In darkness that thick, I have a tendency to either a) open my eyes wider than humanly possible in a futile attempt to gather any sliver of light that may exist, or b) close my eyes and pretend the black hole doesn't exist. I know. It makes no sense, but somehow closing the blinds on my optic nerves is a comfort. Being as I was driving, B was NOT an option.

Following Beets through the heart of the Forbidden Forest, her high beams eerily illuminating the stately leafless trees felt like being in the Wizard of Oz. I imagined the trees coming to life, tossing pine cones, apples, squirrels... Then the crazies in my head took over and the woodland creatures turned into flannel clad, psycho killers, wearing clown masks, wielding machetes, jumping on THE CAR AND OMGDON'TLOOKINTHEMIRROR!!!!!!!!!!


*deep breath*

Yeah. I don't like the wilderness.


to cleanse the palate of that unsavory imaginary savagery from the deep recesses of my overactive mind, here are a couple of videos from the ever-entertaining interwebs last week. Okay, full disclosure, I'm using this platform to keep these belly-laugh beauties forEVAH. And I'm not even sorry about it.

First up is a sign language interpreter who really needs to come out of his shell.

I want to parTAY with you, Sir!

Last, but certainly not at all least is the March 16th episode of the brilliant @Midnight. This show is my life support. Chris Hardwick is a GENIUS! Geo and I never EVER fail to bust a gut laughing at the irreverent silliness of this program. Occasionally, there's a grouping of comedians whose wit makes us cry. This was such an episode.

Not just funny... Sofa King funny.

It's only 23 minutes. As Donna from Parks and Rec says...

Dude, Google Feud is my new favorite game!

I cannot stress enough how brilliant this show is. It is the great mood lifter. Better than any prescription pill. YOU SHOULD ALL WATCH IT!

Seriously. Do it. NOW! Don't let the terrorists win.

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