Saturday Morning Quickie
oh oh! That's what she said!!!

Okay, so I have tons to share, most of it centering around what I did on my summer vacation and the fantasy love of my life, Rhett Miller, but I just got back from a whirlwind 36 hours in New York City and Geo's making breakfast (mmmmm....breakfast) and I'm having trouble figuring out how to upload the uber terrific videos from my new swanky camera and I kinda want to spend this rarest of rare Saturdays off with, you know, my hubby and.... yadda yadda yadda

Anywho, we subscribe to a newsletter by this guy Bob Lefsetz who is some kind of muckity-muck in the music biz. He's really good particularly if you're interested in his opinions about the state of the music world. You can subscribe to his newsletter here:

http://www.lefsetz.com/lists/?p=subscribe&id=1

Again, I digress...

So, his last posting was all about how certain songs produced today would never have been a hit or even heard 20 years ago, but with the onslaught of YouTube, pretty much anything goes. He found this video that is the irresistible combination of questionable content set to the most contagious old-school, soul be-bop, Motown beat. Think Gnarles Barkley meets The Spinners. This is one of the best I-hate-you-I-can't-live-without-you break up songs.

It is absolutely not work viewer friendly, so put your freaking headphones on Asshat because you are going to LOVE IT and want to play it over and over and over ...

(P.S.: You have to click the corner to watch this masterpiece full screen on YouTube)

And haven't we all wanted to say this to an Ex!! Why is this not on iTunes? Seriously. I dare you not to get this stuck in your head. Just try not to sing the chorus aloud at Chucky Cheese.

Enjoy your Saturday!

Random Crap N@
or piles 'o shite rambling around my bean

Okay, so here are some random thoughts rattling around my brain.

The Jet Blue steward is my hero. I mean, seriously. Who hasn't wanted to tell off the inhabitants of their professional world in a loud, booming, megaphone voice, chuck their shit out the door (or escape raft, as the case may be) and say "Sayanara, Suckers!!!" with both middle fingers in the air.

Everyone, that's who.

Fucking brilliant!

The story link is here.


Next up, True Blood

Geo and I started watching HBO's Vampires-walk-among-us-without-shirts-on True Blood this year when they repeated the entire series leading up to the third season opener. At first I was on the fence about this program, but the second season got me hooked. Every time LaFayette (by far my favorite twisted character) looks down his long, mascaraed lashes and says to his cousin, Tara "Oh Hooker, please!" it cracks me up. I don't know why. It's just funny to me.

Anywho, it's been so graphically gory of late the title should be True Blood and Guts Galore. Seriously. Every episode lately has been filled with overly gratuitous chunks of flying bloody pulp the size of fists. I find myself uttering, "well...that was disgusting" over and over.

And yet...I keep watching. Hmmm.

Luckily with the extra glop comes an extra Biggie-sized hunk in the form of a new white-knight werewolf, Alcide.

Hubba Hubba Hubba

Be still my beating heart

He's tall, dark, handsome, bearded and shirtless... a lot. Plus, get this-he grew up not far from where I live now. Yep. That studly muffin is a Pittsburgh boy!

Whew! Hand me a cigarette.

Let's move on to Mad Men, shall we.

I've loved this show from the beginning. It beautifully captures the advertising age of the 60s: the style, the feel, the sexual harassment of all things female...

It's one of those shows that reminds one how it used to be. Society is so hell-bent on political correctness that you tend to forget a time when mothers stayed at home and often drank heavily, everyone smoked everywhere, there was a trolley cart of liquor in every office (I feel strongly that this tidbit should be reintroduced to the workforce), people thoughtlessly littered (this actually made me cringe), bosses shagged their secretaries (not yet dubbed administrative assistants) and children were scene, not heard. And good Lord there were no seat belts or bike helmets anywhere.

The show is at it's best when centered around the biz of advertising. We enjoy all the ins and outs of the game more than the soap opera drama of Betty and her bitchiness.

The silver-haired Roger Sterling is hands down my favorite Mad Man. His rich-boy swagger goes down very well with his ever-present scotch, cigarette and irreverent quip. In case you haven't noticed, I've used one of his signature lines as my favorite quote at the top right of this bloggity blog blog. There's definitely not enough Roger for my liking.

By contrast, Don's always been an irresistible dark force of charisma and mystery. The consummate Cad continually unable to resist a role in the sack with the next pretty thing to walk into his eye line, but Holy Crap! Don! Get a grip! You're acting like a crazy horn dawg! Ok, you can have your kinky "slap and not-so-tickle" from the hooker, but that little girl's your niece for eff's sake! Don't you be lusting after her in your big ole baggy boxer shorts. You're making me scream at the TV.

Donny Donny Donny. You need to cut that shit out, brother.

And speaking of boxer shorts, what's with all the whiteys? You're unhitched and shagging hookers now. You could at least wear some funky shorts. You've been to Vegas. Surely they sold boxers with horses or anchors or strippers on them back then. I'm not asking for Sponge Bob Square Pants here.

As for Joan...

Aaaa OOooo Ga!!

Holy Russell Crowe!! I'm not the least bit gay, but even I can't stop ogling her curves. Cowabunga!! And I think those things are REAL, too. I'm so glad she's back in the picture. The show was lacking her Rubenesque imprint.

And one more completely unrelated thing...

Who the HELL can drive 15 mph through an entire neighborhood?!? It's utterly impossible for any human being, okay me, to physically drive 15 for 15 blocks. Cripes, it'll be time to vote for a new president by the time I get to the traffic light!

And that's exactly what I told the Cop when he pulled me over. Okay. I didn't. I made nice-nice, fluttered my lashes and claimed ignorance (which was true for once). I got off with a warning. But seriously! 15 miles per effing hour?!?!? Come on!

So ends the rancid ramblings for the day. Go in peace.

In Which I Make Excuses (Legit for once) For Not Posting...

Okay, so I have several things I'd like to share, but seems our computer is jacked up. I'm under strict orders not to load photos or videos since the crashing of late has been pretty deadly.

Like...Dead Dead. Like epic death throws. Like, "Holy Crap! Call 911! Start compressions!"

It's a Mac, so how can it be messed up, right? They're generally impervious to viruses. I have no clue. I'm just a cave woman when it comes to technology.

Anywho, my Geo has a specialist scheduled to come administer high doses of antibiotics, administer CPR and perform an Exorcism. Until then I'll try to find something to talk about that doesn't involve visuals. Ick! How boring!

We're friends, right? So you know when I say "try" I probably mean, um...not happening. We'll see.

In the meantime, please light a candle that our techno-baby survives.

In Which I Finally Do Something I've Wanted To Do For A Long Time...

Okay, so we've been living in our house for 24 years now. It seems like just yesterday. Weird. I can't believe how quickly the times goes.


Anywho, ever since we've been residing in our lovely little hamlet there has always been the quintessential ice cream truck, blaring a monotonous, mind-numbing tune manned by a crazy-Carney guy. Every summer I promise myself I'm going to get my big ass off the couch and treat myself to some of that traveling frozen yumminess. And every fall for the last 24 years, I have watched the leaves change and drop without having had the pleasure of a creamy treasure. Sure one Scooter Crunch costs almost as much as an entire box from the grocery store, but come one! It's the ice cream truck! It kinda tastes better. 


Biting into the cold crunchy coating feels like Summer as a kid when you had nothing to worry about except making sure you were home before the street lights came on after a long day of lazing in the sun with friends you thought you'd never be able to live without. 


Well today after I pulled in from girls' weekend at Lake Erie and Geo and I unloaded the car, the unmistakable tune of the ice cream man wafted through the warm, summer air. 


Guess what. I did it. I got me a frozen treat from the big metal truck! 

Strawberry Cooter Crunch happiness

And you know what else? The "Carney" man ain't so crazy after all. He's pretty darn nice. I'm like, his age now which is bizarre, but I ended up having a rather lovely lengthy conversation with him. Apparently this is what we old farts do now. Yak with strangers...a lot.


Now if only he could outfit that puppy with a Cocktail Slushie machine... 

Friday Video
or come take a ride with me

Okay, so y'all know by now I live in Pittsburgh. Most people still think of my town as a smoky, backward hovel not worth an hour layover let alone a multi-day visit. They could not be more wrong.


The thing I love about our not-so-little Hamlet is it has a big-city mentality with first-rate hospitals, universities and cultural amenities contained in a very manageable, small-city confine. There are tons of fun things to do here. Lots of river-related fun, family-fare, music and bars galore. Plus, not to be partial or anything, but Pittsburghers are some of the most, if not the most friendly folks in the US of A. No lie. Within minutes you'll be like family.


AND it has the most amazing entrance via the Fort Pitt Tunnel.


It's a huge "WOW!!" factor, which I get to enjoy each and every day. Driving through that tunnel is like a magic trick. 


Nothing up my sleeve. Presto!! 


That vista is like finding the prize in a box of Cracker Jack. 47 years later, the sight still makes me smile. I'll never tire of it.


Oh and I hope you all took note... the song playing was not Rhett or Old 97's, but Frightened Rabbits. It is part of a mix CD I'm making for my Internet bud, Tami from San Fran. One of these days I'll get to meet her... and Leslie... and Jess face to face. Won't that be fun?


In the mean time, don't worry. Once I'm through critiquing my work, my boys will be back in player. I know. You were worried I had a fever, right?

Flowers For Claudette
or why is it so hard to be humane

Okay, so every city has a homeless population. It's a sad truth of the human condition. There are many heartbreaking reasons why someone ends up living on the streets... mental illness, drug or alcohol abuse, unexpected financial misfortune.


There but for the Grace of God...


Anyway, sadly many times those of us who are lucky enough to be healthy and financially sound stop seeing those unfortunate few, desperately living minute to minute. It's so easy to ignore them. To turn away from the ugliness that makes us uncomfortable.


I was clearing out the veritable ton of photos on my phone, when I stumbled on this...

It's a memorial to one of our more colorful homeless people, Claudette. Claudette was a 6 foot 4 inch black man who chose to live his life as a woman. He was never mean, always respectful, pleasantly greeting passersby from his make shift cardboard apartment which he stocked with books, flowers and other niceties he could find cast off throughout the city. Summer or winter, Claudette would be where he always was...alongside the CVS, living his life the best he could. Gracefully.


I walked past Claudette several times a month. At times I'd make eye contact and smile at him, but like everyone else, most times I didn't even see him and his large frame in my haste to get on with my business at hand.


Claudette passed away last year. I don't remember if it was by a violent hand or natural causes. His part of the street alongside the CVS is empty now.


For someone who didn't see him most of the time, I find myself looking for him now...

My Awesome Adventures In The Steel Shitty..er, I Mean City
(a guest blog from a Southern visitor)

Okay, so today I give up my blog space to a new friend who visited with me for a couple of days last week. Take it away GG!

Hi, y'all! My name is Ghetto Gumby, but my friends call me GG. My Mom, the beautifully boozy and uber talented Shauna Glenn, whipped me up one night on a bender and decided to send me on a three month vacation to visit all her Internet gal pals. To be honest I think she's a little pissed at me because I drank the last of the Pinot and didn't tell her.

Sid & his luscious lips

Anywho, I spent last weekend in the lovely little Northern town of Pittsburgh with my new friend, Murray. The only thing I knew about this place is they're crazy about their football team and have a gorgeous, super talented young man named Sid leading their first-rate hockey team. Or so says Murray. Between you and me, she's a bit of a hockey freak. She gets all gushy about him and his luscious lips. It's kinda scary.

Anywho, she took me to work with her at the Special K. It was pretty cool. I got to help her switch the local news cut-in, help the weather girl, Ashley choose what maps to use and I got to hang out on the set with the news anchor, Brenda. That Brenda's a ton of fun. She fed me brownies and let me chill with her between shows.

I got to switch maps during weather!! But tell me the truth, does this fader bar make my butt look big?

Picking maps with Ashley

I got to cue the so-called "talent", but really...I'm the talented one!

Hanging on the set with my new best gal pal, Brenda. They called us Ebony and ...Paisley?

Can you tell I really, REALLY liked Brenda? Her decolletage is so warm and cozy. Wait...what? That sounds effed up, Dude! 

Then we all went out to a local diner to get breakfast and dine al fresco in the newly renovated piazza. Boy, these TV types sure do like to eat! That's pretty much all they talk about. That and drinking. They'd get along really well with Momma Glenn. Ha Ha!

sucking down some morning bubbly

After a quick run up to Mt. Washington to check out the spectacular view of the Golden Triangle, we went home to get all dolled up for my first concert ever! The uber fabulous Rhett Miller and Old 97's!!!

What a view!

KDKA-You are here 

I had no idea what to expect, but after one song I was hooked!! They are exhilarating to watch perform. Everyone was singing and dancing. What a great time! We were so close I got splattered by what Murray refers to as "Rhett Sweat". I understand now why she loves these guys. They are so sweet. Rhett and Murry said hi to us as soon as they took the stage. Here I am enjoying the music ... and the view, if you know what I mean.

"In front row at the Mr. Small's Show!!" Is there a better view? I think not!

Best of all, Rhett came out afterwards to say Howdy! I got a little snuggle. *swoon* And then he signed my heart. Hope Mom likes my new tattoo.

Grabbing a snuggle with the Lovely Blue-Eyed one

Baby's first tattoo. Way cooler than the bacon band-aid

How about those blue eyes, huh? WoooEeee! Be still my non-beating heart. So now, thanks to Murray, I'm an FOB...friend of the band.

ROCK 'N ROLL, BABY!!

Thanks for the great time, Murray!! You rule!! Now pass me my Jameson, Bee-yatch. ROCK 'N ROLL, BABY!!