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Wednesday, January 14, 2009

On Golden Globes
Yeah...I'm talkin' about you, Rita

It's January which means only one thing...tis the awards season. It starts with the People's Choice and motors on until the Mother of all awards shows... the Oscars (which seems to be scheduled earlier and earlier every year). And although all the glitz and glamour surrounding the Oscars is a great treat for me personally...I have to admit the Golden Globes is my favorite.

Seriously. If I was ever able to be a seat filler, the double Gs would be my choice, hands down. I love, love, love how they're so loosey-goosey. I mean, come on...they have a bar. Not just a bar--an OPEN bar, which is tapped quite often by the attending honorees. As the amount of alcohol consumption increases, so does the entertainment factor. By the time the last of the statuettes is dolled out, the accepting tongues are quite free-wheeling.

I love how the redneck cousin Television contingent gets to mix it up with the Hollywood elite. It's such a great party atmosphere. They all sit at round tables stocked with a generous bucket of champagne and are free to roam about chatting up their peers and idols. Plus there is no straight line to the stage. Each winner is forced to weave around table after table where they are met with high-fives, broad smiles--even some celebratory whoops. The decibel level is so loud and chatty returning from the breaks, they practically needed a bullhorn to settle the troops down for the presenters to be heard. Who wouldn't want to attend? Everyone has such a great time. It's a Hep-Cat Hootenanny awash in tuxes and ta-tas!

Speaking of "ta-tas", this year the path to the stage wound past the cheering section of Tom and Rita Hanks. I don't know if that was indeed the quickest way to retrieve their candy-coated prize or the dudes just wanted to get a closer look at Rita's spectacularly displayed globes.

Yowza! Seriously. The girls were promenading proudly. I mean, she walked into the room, and then... she walked into the room. If you know what I mean. Not bad for an old broad. Mrs. Hanks wasn't the only one either. Salma took her Hayeks out for a lovely spin as well.

As my hubby would say, "I'm sorry. Were you speaking?"

Other highlights (yes, there were other, non-physical highlights)...

Tracey Jordan delivering the acceptance speech for 30 Rock.

You know, he sounds drunk to me even when he's sober, but tipsy he's extra slurry. He delivered this non sequitur "Welcome to postracial America--I am the face of postracial America. Deal with it, Cate Blanchett!" (wha???) Then he proceeded to thank random posse members, DJ Dave, Crotch Rot Carl, Pencil Dick Pete...who the hell knows. Honestly I couldn't understand him, but his ramble was funnier than anything else I'd heard him do before. Finally, Alec Baldwin (being all Alec Baldwinie in his cool, Alec Balwin whisper) leaned in to remind him to at least thank the producer.

Tina Fey was her usual brilliant wit, claiming to own all of the Foreign Press action figures and calling out all the bloggers who slammed her during the year by telling them all (in particular "Dianefan") to "suck it".

But by far the biggest surprise was Mickey Rourke's fairly amusing acceptance speech which was sprinkled with more than one reference to someone's balls, and ending with his producer jokingly flipping him the bird. I guess it's safe to say NBC wasn't broadcasting in delay. Naughty Naughty, NBC. 

Plus, the top movie honors went to Woody Allen's Vicki Cristina Barcelona and an relatively unknown Indian entry Slumdog Millionnaire. You never see that at the Oscars.

All that and they finished on time. Yep. The double Gs are definitely worth the price of admission.

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