Stop The Presses!

or just another stupid celebrity "scandal"

I know..I'm late with this. I couldn't get my shi-ite together last weekend to weigh in on this. Whatever.

Okay, so the buzz all over the latter part of last week was David Letterman's admission he had sexual relations with several Late Night female (I love how they feel the need to qualify gender) staffers.

*gasp*

That NEVER happens in the work place! He must be the devil himself. To this I say...

BFD (Big Effin Deal)

Seriously. Who gives a shit. So he messed around with some consenting adult women from his staff. He wasn't married and a father then, and even if he was it's NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. That entire affair(s) is between him and his girlfriend, now wife.

The best part of this story, however, is the asshat who tried to extort two million smackers from Dave was a 48 Hours investigative producer! I mean, come on! This Cat has spent his career uncovering clues of would-be criminals, and yet he doesn't realize blackmail is rarely successful? Those boneheads pretty much always get caught. Moron.

So here's what went down (as if you haven't heard). Bozo reads his GF's diary entries detailing Letterman's entries (if you know what I mean, and I think you do), places a package in the back seat of Dave's car containing evidence of said dalliances and threats of exposure via a screenplay and movie deal, Dave drops off a fake check for a cool 2 million, Lex Luthor picks up the check, Feds slap his stupid ass in jail.

Here's the scoop straight from the horse's mouth:

Allegedly, Boy Genius was in over his head with alimony and other debt. Boo Hoo. That doesn't mean you betray your girlfriend by using her diary as a means to shake down her boss for some hefty do-re-mi. Did he really think Dave wouldn't involve the feds? Apparently yes. Yes he did.

Naturally there was the onslaught of related viewer polls, "Will this hurt Late Night's popularity?" "Does this revelation make you feel negatively towards Letterman?" "Will Jon and Kate make a murder/suicide pack sparing the American public any more of their inane bullshit?"

Uhhh.. no. no and unfortunately, no. Sadly we will all have to endure more drivel about that wack-ass couple.

But I digress...

You know it's not like Dave touted himself as the poster boy of family values, pounding his chest while perched on his pompous pulpit screeching how his moral compass is so much stronger than the rest of us peons below like so many deluded politicians and holy rollers. I'm talking about you, Larry Craig and Mark Sanford.

He's just a talk show host. A talk show host with a lot of class and courage to come clean and address this issue head on. Yeah he fucked up, but no good comes from lying. It's better to just admit it, take your lumps, tuck your tail between your legs, face the consequences and move on. He's publicly apologized to his wife and staff members who are now facing the barrage of a full-press media frenzy, hell bent on naming names and dragging more people through the mud in the name of "news gathering" in order to quench their blood lust for higher ratings.

He's got a lot to atone for if he's to repair his relationship with his wife. I don't envy him that journey. But again, that's between him and Regina. It is none of our bid-ness, as Dave used to say. All I know is he still continues to be the best entertainer on late night and one of the classiest schlubs on TV.

You know, politicians could take a lesson from Davy boy on how to handle a scandal. Hey, that rhymes.