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Monday, November 9, 2009

What I Did On Halloween Night
or hanging with the freaks on the South Side of town

(I know. I know. This is waaaay late. I was busy, a'ight. Okay. I was too lazy to write. Shut up already.)

Okay, so every year for the past 17 an assortment of musicians, singers and humorous media types get together and put on a tribute show around Halloween called The Night of the Singing Dead. It's not your usual tribute show. The irreverent evening skewers.. er, pays homage via song to celebrities, politicians and other notables who have died over the past year or 40.

Two of the funniest guys I know-Lars and Steve-write this thing and it is so lame at times that it is hilarious! No celebrity is taboo.

This year's theme was a Reunion Show. The show started with Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze messing around a potter's wheel a la Ghost. However, being that Demi isn't dead, they kicked her off stage and traded up for... Chris Farley. So this HUGE dude in a Chris Farley fat suit proceeds to work his magic as Demi, then Baby from Dirty Dancing and finally himself from the classic Chipendale dance off from SNL.

The show also included hosts Billy Mays, Ed McMahon and Johnny Carson; a Fantasy Island Reunion: Tatou and Mr. Roarke; a Batman Villans Reunion: The Joker, The Riddler, The Penguin and Catwoman; a Woodstock Reunion: Hendrix, Garcia, Joplin and Morrison and of course Michael Jackson(s)-plural.

By far though, the best was the Kennedy Family Reunion complete with a "Special Guest":

and Mary Travers played by the delightful Carol Lee Espy:

When the show was over we headed out into the streets to mingle with the masses of masked mortals. I don't know what was more entertaining, the show we just exited or the freaks-on-parade happening on the streets.

I swear Halloween is every thin-framed, full-busted girl's excuse to dress like a Super Hootchie. Seriously. I saw more naughty nurses, bosom-baring Bavarian barmaids and loose-moraled Catholic school girls than hookers in Vegas when the fleet's in.

To my delight, there were a couple of men in frocks sprinkled in for my own personal enjoyment. One lumbering hulk of a guy was in a blue-sequined, micro-mini and sporting big ole tranny pumps. Another cheerleader gent flashed me his big, plastic girl boobies.

Ha Ha Ha!!

If I had had beads, I would have thrown them at him. As it is I could only convey my approval by hooking the horn.

Have I shared how amusing I find straight dudes in girl duds? I do. Really. To me it's one of the funniest things on earth. Never fails to Crack.Me.Up!!

And then there were these two sitting in the window of Mario's.

A foamy stripper with pasties, g-string and dead sexy... orthopedic shoes?!? Yeah...

Oh Look! My date's here!

Where do you suppose you put the batteries in that thing?

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