And So It Begins...
or bring it, you ornery SOB
Okay, so it's only January 4th and we're already in the "Hello-my-name-is-Winter-and-I'm-totally-going-to-make-you-my-Beeyatch" portion of the season. Seriously. Nothing chases the post-holiday blues away like a solid week of 10 degree temperatures! That stupid skank of this soulless season is dishing out frigid days like lumpy gruel in an endless soup line.
Alright... it is pretty.
For the first few days anyway, but this shoveling every morning shit is getting old. Already. It's only January 4th. Did I mention it's only January 4th? No?
It's only JANUARY 4TH!
And this is one long-ass month. One very long, draggy, if-I-don't-see-the-sun-soon-I'm-going-to-stab-somebody-in-eye month.
Hmmmmmm... on second thought maybe a different approach is in order...
Hey Winter. How you doin'? You're looking rather fetching today. Are those new shoes? They're really cute. Clarks, right? They make your legs look all toned and hawt. No, really. Did you do something to your hair? It's beautiful. That frosted look really works for you. You look like you've lost some weight. Have you? No, seriously. You're looking pretty svelte. You've been working out, haven't you? No? Well you look like you are. Your waistline is to die for! You know what? You should treat yourself to a trip to Florida in February. You know, show off your new hair and body in a sexy new leopard bikini number, cause it is ALL about you, Girlfriend. Mmm-Hmm! You would totally rock that beach. Come to think of it, I think I saw a really great two-week deal for Miami. I'll help you book it. No, really. It's no problem at all. I'm happy to do it...
Do you think she'll buy it? Nah. Me neither.