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Saturday, September 5, 2009

Tick.. Tock.. Tick.. Tock..
or how my clock mocks me for my foolishness

Okay, so it's 1:14 in the morning and I can't sleep because some asshat made me drink a fully caffeinated iced mocha latte after nine o'clock.

My friends and I were having a grand ole time at the local First Friday community event here in Mt. Lebo, listening to a great local band Lohio, cruising up and down the avenue window shopping when some young turk pulled a knife and forced me to chug the loaded ice-cold coffee beverage while she laughed and pointed.

The suspect looked familiar. Red hair. glasses. Kind of a mouth-breather. Laughs at fart jokes. Hey, I know who the ASShat in question was...


Clearly I had forgotten I'm middle-aged and afflicted with the inability to ignore the caffeine charge pulsing through my veins in order to fall blissfully asleep.


So instead of lying in bed listening with envy (and a little disgust) to my husband's measured breathing while my innards are vibrating (and not in a good way), I decided to jump on here and bore you to tears.

Lucky you.

Problem is I don't have anything much to talk about since I'm kinda obsessing over not being able to sleep, not to mention the computer is suddenly jacked up and not keeping up with my rapid, caf-FIEND-fueled typing. And it is really getting on my last nerve.

So instead of just prattling on incessantly, I thought I'd do a sort of "best-of" blog posts for those of you who may have joined my little party late. Plus perhaps it will make up for my lack of inspiration in the humor department lately.

Okay, by way of introduction as well as explanation, here's the first posting. Click here.

A rant about a Euro-trash salon that gets your "Betty ready" here and the video here.

A really bad idea for dinner here.

An evil Christmas tale in which I discover I'm living in Twin Peaks here.

In which the dream Gods are not fair..and kinda dicky here.

In which I speak of the dreaded phantom fecal spore sista here.

Every gal's favorite doctor's appointment here.

Just two more. I swear. The caffeine is starting to wear off now. Geez Louise. I didn't realize I wrote so much crap over the last year...

A little insight into Geo and my relationship and the loss of a dear, old friend here.

And finally...just because I am 10 years old. Enjoy this one here.

That should do it. I think I've successfully bored myself to sleep and no doubt dragged you along to slumberville. I promise to do better. Until then...


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